God's Ways Are Higher

If there is anything I have come to know and believe wholeheartedly it is this truth. Isaiah 55:9 says: "For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." God sees the big picture and knows full well that the path He has me on and you on is better than anything we could each imagine. Sometimes it's so hard to understand, isn't it? Last week, I thought I was pregnant. I was more than confident, actually. The thought was all-consuming. Before I took a pregnancy test, I texted a few people close to me and asked them to pray that no matter what, there wouldn't be any disappointment.  Thankfully, the test was negative. No, that wasn't a type-o; I DID say thankfully. :) I can't say there wasn't ANY disappointment. Right afterwards, I ate Milk Duds and ice cream for dinner. But after that, I was so happy. So happy that tears came to my eyes, even right now as I write this. If I became pregnant, our adoption would have to be put on hold. And that thought brought sadness to Adam and I as we talked about "what if". Even though physically there isn't a baby growing, there is one growing in both of our hearts. The idea of that baby being lost brought so much more sadness to us than the negative sign on a pregnancy test. I am overjoyed that we still have our baby, the baby God has designed perfectly for us. Sometimes we feel like he/she is so close, other days it feels so far away. But we continue to trust. I continue to be amazed at how God works; the way He allows His plans to overtake our own and how He changes our mindset. If you had told me months ago that I would be excited to see a negative sign on a pregnancy test, I wouldn't have believed you. Wow, God is so good. "...My ways are higher than your ways ..."
I am so grateful for the blessing of adoption and that this is the way God has designed our family to be created. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

Seasons

You are on my heart and I have been praying for you. Over the last few weeks, I have felt God impressing on my heart to leave a message here for those who are hurting, going through a waiting period, or are in need of healing. I finally have a free moment to sit down and write this.
Whether you are waiting for a job, a spouse, a test result from a doctor, or any other answer God is real and is heartbroken over your pain. Psalms states that he collects our tears in a bottle. (Psalms 56:8)  I have walked through the valley of marriage, the valley of vocation, and the valley of desiring a family. There have been many times that I have questioned if the Lord could really hear my cries out to Him or if He could really see me in the valley. At the end of the day, I had to make a choice. I had to choose to really believe in who He says He is or I had to choose to walk on my own.
Last summer, I was going through an emotional winter. And just like physical New England winters, I felt like my winter was never going to end. And through my hurt and pain, I had to make the choice of believing in God's promises or not. I chose to believe. That was a battle in and of itself. But God promises us that His Word is our weapon and it is active.(Hebrews 4:12) I found verses to pray through several times a day for several months. And ever so slowly, there was break through. The pain or the struggle didn't immediately go away, but God's peace started to flood through the cracks and it soon overshadowed my difficulties. These valleys made God's promises real to me. It is one thing to say I believed in Him. It's another to cling to it and place all my trust in Him because He was all I had at that time.
I believe He can do the same for you. I am overwhelmed by your suffering. Some I know of specifically, some I don't. But the burden I have for you is real and I am praying.

How can you get through your valley?

* Claim God's promises. If you haven't already, get out your Bible and find a verse that speaks to you about your situation. Memorize it. Pray it. It may take some time for the pain to subside and the peace to come in, but I promise you, it will. If you don't have a Bible, I would love to buy you one. Please let me know!

* Praise God. Yes, you read that right. We are to praise God. I personally don't think we have to praise Him FOR the valley while we are in it, but praise Him DESPITE it. By giving thanks to HIm, we are turning our eyes to Him only and taking our focus off of the trial. Philippians 4:6-7 states:" ⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT) This will be hard. I know. I read in one of the Psalms about David offeirng a "sacrifice of praise". I now understand that phrase. Praise IS a sacrifice..but it is something God will honor.

* Journal. By recording what God is doing for you and through you during hard times will serve as a reminder of His faithfulness in the future. In the Old Testament, God's leaders would set up stone altars as a reminder of how God was faithful to them. These were markers of His answers. I have found this to be true of my prayer journals or notes I have written in my Bible. They have served as constant reminders of God's faithfulness in the past.

I continue to pray for you. I pray that God's faithfulness and peace will eventually be able to supercede your pain. He is the only constant in this world.

The beautifully hard road of adoption

This past week I have been reading through the book "Orphanology", written by my brother and sister-in-law's friend Tony Merida. Tony and his wife Kim have adopted 5 kids: 4 from the Ukraine and 1 from Ethiopia. I was blessed to meet these precious kids 2 years ago when I was in New Orleans. My favorite part of the book? Opening it up to see the signatures of each of these sweet children...such a vivid reminder of their changed lives.
One of the stories Tony mentions has really challenged me. A couple gave their adoption experience~ it was challenging and hard. A true roller coaster. But then they equated it to the suffering that Jesus endured to adopt us into His family. He gave His LIFE to make us His sons and daughters. Shouldn't it be a joy, then, to endure suffering to adopt a little one into our family?
This thought has resonated with me the past few days. Jesus didn't quit because the road was hard. He knew the pain and agony He was going to experience, yet He loved me and you so much that He finished the course. He endured ridicule, betrayal, and physical pain..because of His great love for US!
I think of Jesus' walk up to Calvary. His final moments on earth. That walk must have seemed like it was taking forever. There have been days when Adam and I have felt like that...will we make it to the end? Then I think of the man on the side of the road that carried Jesus' cross for Him because He was struggling. The heavy burden of the cross became overwhelming. That man is each of you~ You have carried our cross for us on so many days. I have saved every text, e-mail, voicemail, card that you have sent us. Adam and I are blessed by each of you. The road Jesus travelled for me to become His daughter was hard, painful, yet beautiful. This is the same for our baby.
As I reflect on what Jesus endured to adopt me, the love I have for this baby is overflowing. What a joy it is to press on for the fatherless and to bring "the lonely into families." (Psalm 68:6)
Have you been adopted by God? Adam and I have..and would love to tell you how He can be your Father. He is waiting for you and continues to fight for you. His deepest desire is to finalize your adoption.

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy

and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us

to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ,

in accordance with His pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:4-5


How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called the children of God!And that is what we are! 1John 3:1

Homestudy finally approved!

We finally found out from Carol, our social worker, that our homestudy has been submitted and approved! I'm not sure who was more excited, Adam and I or our social worker:) It took a year to get it done and out of the way..we are so thankful!
Now we are looking for a placement agency. Carol recommended that we look outside of Massachusetts since we are requesting a Caucasian infant. She recommended 2 attorneys in Indiana that specialize in adoption placements and adoption law. I spoke to them this past week and really liked them. He was very upfront which I loved. We don't want anything sugar coated for us at this point. We just want the real deal. Altho, he wasn't thrilled that we are Pats fans..ha:) He said we could only work with them if we burned our Brady jerseys and wore Indy shirts. At first I said "Fat chance" but said that we are willing to do anything at this point if it meant moving us along faster. :) There is one more place we are going to look into, but are leaning towards the firm in Indiana.
We also can now start looking into applying for grants and scholarships. There are so many fabulous agencies out there who are looking to help offset the costs of adoption. The main one we are looking into is Show Hope (www.showhope.org) founded by Steven Curtis Chapman. Him and his wife's ministry is amazing!
Next steps: we need to get FBI fingerprinted and work on our adoption profiles to submit to our placement agency. Our profile is our biography and will be shown to expectant moms who are deciding to make an adoption plan for their baby. We believe that the right woman will see our story and all of our lives will change. We continue to pray for her.
Tomorrow, we are getting pictures taken for our profile by our dear friend, Terri who is also an adoptive mother.
We continue to put our faith in God's timing and His sovereignty. He is faithful, bottom line, and we trust in that. Thanks for checking in on us:)

Two Paths

When Adam and I decided to change our focus to domestic adoption, I started to think about the new possibilities and the new people God would put on our path. The way God brings people into our lives is amazing, isn't it? We have seen Him work in pretty awesome ways in our own lives and we don't doubt that this will be any different.
A couple of nights after we made our decision, I started thinking about this certain young woman. This young woman who will be making the ultimate sacrifice of love which will allow us to become a mom and dad. My heart was heavy for her. Not knowing these thoughts, my sister-in-law brought her up in a recent conversation and said "Your paths are about to cross." Who knows where she is right now, but she is heading down a path that will bring her into crisis. Yet, the result of her crisis will become our greatest joy. As we sit here waiting, she is searching, wandering. How I wish I could tell her that we are on the other side waiting and there is hope. Kind of like how God is speaking to us right now. He knows the end of this story; we just need to trust. There is hope. Our stories are so similar. I'm starting a journal for her and am planning on giving it to her when we meet. My prayer is that through her own struggles and pain, the result will end in her finding contentment in Jesus, just as I have found.
Adam and I have shifted focus in not just praying for this baby but also for its' other mom. Will you pray for us as we continue on in deciding how we can reach out to her, whenever our paths are meant to cross?

"And we know that God causes everything

to work together for the good

of those who love God

 and are called according to His purpose for them.

Romans 8:28

Changes

It's been awhile since I had given an update. Over the last 2 weeks, things have changed quite a bit. 2 weeks ago, we received an e-mail from our agency in North Carolina stating that the Moldovan government is still dragging its' feet with changing and revising adoption laws. Currently there are 4 families in our agency who have been in limbo for a year and the social workers are working hard to get them moving. Unfortunately, they aren't even going to be looked at til May. Which means we still could not begin the paperwork we need to. Our program director has also said that it appears that the youngest children available will be 5 year olds and we had given a range of 2-4. She said we are looking at at least another 1 1/2 year wait. After much discussion and prayer, we feel God has closed this door for right now. This decision has been so hard to make. With it, has come alot of anger, sadness, and guilt. In our kitchen, I have a collage of pictures from our past trips and as I look at those pictures, I see Hope/Noah and I wonder if we are turning our back on a baby in Moldova. I know in reality that isn't true, but the feeling is still real. I am angry at Mother's Day and pregnancies and paperwork.
I share all of this to say, that despite all of that, God is faithful. I was writing that short statement out this morning and it reminded me greatly that YES, the Lord has been so faithful to us! I see His fingerprints over the last year in so many areas. I was tempted to sit and think of how much we wasted this last year and the Lord has reminded me this morning that this year was a gift, really. A year for growing our marriage, growing us as individuals and growing in our knowledge of who the Lord is to us. God's timing is never a waste. How thankful I am for the way He is active even in waiting periods. Adam and I trust Him; we believe in His promises to us; and we believe that His way is perfect.
Our plan is to move forward with a domestic adoption. We are praying for an infant and are so excited to see where God leads. My friend Noelle was saying how exciting it is to think that Hope/Noah are so close to us! Yes!:) Wherever this baby is, we love it so much already...we can't wait to see their cute face:)
The wait seems to still be long, between 1-2 years, but who knows, it could be shorter.

Our verse for 2012:

"Be still in the presence of the Lord

and wait patiently for Him to act." Psalm 37:7

Please continue to pray for us. We covet and treasure your prayers! We love you.

Glimmers

Have you ever been going through something and feel that you are in limbo..that how could possibly God be at work? Ah, the lesson of my life. :) God is making Himself known to me, and to you, every single day; unfortunately sometimes I fail to see Him because I am looking at life through my own eyes, not His. And, how He always brings me back to perspective. So thankful for His grace.
One of the things that I have shared with some of you that has been hard for me is to not have any physical reminders of our sweet baby..no pictures of ultrasounds, etc. Adam and I have to constantly remind ourselves that on the other side of our mountain of paperwork is Hope/Noah. One of my dear prayer partners  gave me a whole new way of viewing this struggle. She told me that each of the kids on my caseload represent Hope and Noah..that when I look at these children I can see my own children. What perspective!
I was assigned 2 1/2 week old twin girls to my caseload this week..I was able to help bring one of them home from the hospital to her new foster home. How beautiful are these little girls. I went to visit them yesterday and was helping feeding one of them. She fell asleep on my lap and I couldn't help think about where Hope/Noah is right now. Looking at this tiny baby helped me see our little one and just consumed me with love and happiness. Isn't God so faithful?



 

Last night, Adam and I received the pictures of the children that our church will be serving in Moldova in the fall. They, too, helped me see Hope/Noah...the children of Moldova who are forgotten and are desperately in need of families. Their eyes helped me see our kids. How I cannot wait for the fall for Adam and I to be in our second home:)  Adam and I are beyond excited for what God has in store for us.
Here are some of our favorite pictures from our past trips. We just love these kids:)

Praying your day is also filled with glimmers of God's goodness and faithfulness in your life...that you don't miss His Voice guiding you and His hands protecting you. He is a God of mercy, grace, and compassion. We have so much to be thankful for.