Adoption Joys

We are moving right along. We are finally on the waiting list with our adoption attorneys. We don't know how many are ahead of us but will find out soon. Our birth mom letter is sent to be edited by one of the attorneys and once that is finished they will do the whole layout for us with all of our pictures. I can't wait to share it with you all when it is done! When we were writing it, Adam had said "This is the most important letter we will ever have to write." YES! I stopped many times and tried to picture women on the other side reading it. Women confused, desperate, and struggling. How my heart breaks for her.
Our greatest prayer right now is for this precious woman. That she is healthy. That she has someone in her life who is a positive support to her as she makes this decision. But most importantly, that right now God is doing a work in her heart to draw her to Jesus.  Will you join us in praying for her? That the words she reads about us will draw her to us (quickly..haha:) ?
 Our family will be increasing by 2, really. We feel so blessed to be on this path. The past few days, my heart has been full. I have been thanking God that He chose us to adopt. What an honor. I am thankful that His ways are higher than mine and His plans and timing are far greater than anything I could possibly imagine. He has turned our sadness into joy and our waiting into a time of pure dependence. I wouldn't trade this for anything.
I was just reading about how gold is refined.(Pause: If Adam were reading this, he would probably laugh. I am not that interested in science and anytime he would watch anything on the Discovery Channel, I would say one word to him, "Bored", and do something way more educational by jumping on Facebook. Anyways...)  To blast out all the impurities gold is sent through intense heat. The valleys that we face can be this refining time. A time to strip away everything that hinders sheer dependence and trust in God. But in the end...pure gold! After the refining process is done, gold is actually soft and pliable. Isn't this how God wants us? Moldable?
Being refined is hard. It's difficult. But there is a finished product. In the end, God makes all things beautiful.

Verses to reflect on:
Isaiah 43:1--5:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;  I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,
²     I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,  they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God  the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...Since you are precious and honored in my sight,   and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you,   nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.."

Joy Journey: New Mercies Each Morning

Oh, life. That is how I have felt over these past couple of weeks. It has been crazy and hectic. I worked late almost every night and Adam switched work shifts temporarily. I had hoped to start writing about 30 days of joy and thankfulness but time just did not allow. Thankfully, for now, life is "normal" . Our schedule has slowed down. Adam is working normal {for him} hours. Work for me has calmed down. Finally time to breathe.

 Can I tell you how much this joy journal has helped center my mind? I really struggled these past couple of weeks. I was overtired from working and also waking up when Adam would come home from work (which was usually around 1AM) And, work itself, was really hard. Anyhow, I was just drained and my mind was going in a million directions. Do you ever feel like you are in survival mode? Just wanting to make it til 5PM Friday afternoon? That was me. I woke up one morning and felt that God just wanted my time. My first moments of the day before I went into my hectic routine. Normally, this is what I do. But not these 2 weeks I'm referencing. My soul was completely dry. As I got my Bible and journal out, I literally just sat there staring off. I couldn't focus on prayer or reading. In the devotional for the day, I read Romans 8:26 " In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that we cannot express." As I meditated on this, I felt the blinders being lifted off of my eyes and my soul being refreshed. Isn't it amazing that we have a God who cares so much for us that He intercedes for us? Just amazing. After a few minutes, I pulled out my journal and started thinking about the past couple of weeks. When I was living each day, I easily said they were horrible. However, now that they were over, I reflected back on them and saw so much goodness. God's faithfulness. God's mercy. God's grace. Each day sprinkled with them. What a gift.

Here are some things from the past couple of weeks:
* laughter w/ Adam. Our inside jokes. We laugh. Alot. Especially at the mall. (And Wal-Mart & the grocery store)
* flowers Adam sent to me at work
* encouraging co-workers
* phone call from Noelle
* Adam's random texts saying he is praying for me & that he loves me
* Adam's offer to clean the entire apartment so I could rest. :)
* God's new mercies each morning
* dinner with great friends. playing with their kids. having glitter everywhere from a cute Cinderella princess dress:)

Love her. She calls Adam "Mr. Awesome". Hysterical.

My office is much more brighter:)

I sat in my bed, staring at my list. I couldn't believe how faithful God had been to me. In the moment of those weeks, I couldn't see it. But I was thankful He was able to draw me to this place of seeing that He is good, all the time.

Is it possible that there is goodness and joy in our worst days (my sister in law and I call them our "blah" days), mediocre days, normal days? YES! God is at work each and every day. Lamentations 3:23 says: "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new EVERY morning; great is your faithfulness."  I am just in love and overwhelmed by this promise. Did you read that? His compassion and mercy never run out..they are new every single day. What a way to start a new day or a new week..reflecting that God's mercy and love and faithfulness has not run out. It is an endless supply. He is allowing us to live in it each day.

My prayer for you today is that you don't let the normalcy of your day, the chaos of your day, the mediocrity of your day blind you from God's activity around you. Take a moment to see His goodness. Reflect on His faithfulness. I would love to hear how He has made Himself known to you.

A day of opportunity

A month ago Adam and I rented a house in the mountains of New Hampshire. We hadn't taken a vacation in 5 years and just wanted to get away. We were so excited to go hiking and spend time outside. This area was one of our favorite places to be. But as our awesome luck would have it, rain was predicted. For every single day. In New England, they say that the weather changes as fast as you blink. I was hoping this was the case. Our first day there, it down poured. Torrential downpours. It was wonderful to just relax and have no where to go and nothing we needed to get done. But by day 3, the rain got old and I was not happy. Adam could not suggest anything to make me happy. Through all of my rants of "This isn't fair" and "We never take vacations. We could be sitting at home doing the same thing for free" (blah blah blah), Adam forced me to get up and got me moving. He said that we were going to enjoy the day even if it's raining. And of course, I replied supportingly with "Sure we are." {insert sarcasm} Can I tell you that this particular day was my favorite day of the whole week? As we started driving, the rain slowly stopped. We were driving along the Kancamagus Highway which goes for about 30 miles or so. Along the way are stop off points to go hiking or take pictures of the mountains. My favorite spots were by the water where the river was running through. It is absolutely beautiful. I am thankful for a husband who encourages to make the most of every opportunity. I am so grateful that I did not miss out on this day!

Adam making fun of me pouting. Ha:)

Each day is a gift, don't you think? I know, that is so cliche. But I have been contemplating on this thought for the past few weeks. Each day is filled with opportunity- opportunity to hear God speak; opportunity to reach out to others; opportunity to be thankful despite our circumstances. I had breakfast with a friend last month and she was sharing some deep struggles that she had been going through. But what took me by surprise was that she had been suffering for a few months and I had no idea. A significant amount of time had passed since I had last spoken with her and I couldn't believe that I had allowed myself to be so out of touch with a close friend. It's easy to say how busy life gets. And that is true. It does. But this awakened me to the fact that I had been so absorbed in my own things that I was missing out on great opportunities to come alongside those I care about. I don't want to miss out on any more of these opportunities but I know my life is filled with missed phone calls, missed cards, or missed meals with those who needed encouragement.

As I worked on our letter to our birth mother, I had mentioned that one of the main things that was important to us was that we raise a compassionate child. Jesus states that others will know who His followers are by their love for others. That is our hope and prayer for not only us but for the children He blesses us with. I want to see and hear God in each day that He grants me. Have you ever read "1,000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp? It is one of my favorites. She was challenged by a friend to keep a journal of 1,000 reminders of God's goodness. She often found these reminders throughout normal every day activities, such as washing the dishes and going grocery shopping. (Which I think is a feat in itself..those are 2 of my least favorite things to do. Ever.) So I am off to start my own. My hope is to keep this journal until God brings us our baby. This will help keep my eyes focused on His daily grace but will also help me stay focused in the moment and hopefully not miss His gifts of opportunity. I not only want to see Him in my daily life but my prayer is to bring Jesus to others. I am taking on a writing project to blog about God's gifts over the next 30 days. Will you join me?

Some practical steps to get started:
1. Pray. I have always found that God does grant us His desires when it's lined up with His Word. And He so desires to reveal Himself to us each and every day. Make it your morning prayer to ask Him to open your eyes and your heart to see Him throughout your day.
2. Write it down. I bought a journal at Target and will have it in my work bag and will carry it around with me so I have it on hand. Buy one small enough to throw in your glove box or purse.
3. Buy some note cards. I also bought a cheap box of note cards so I can always have on hand to drop someone a card. In the age of technology, writing cards has gone by the wayside. And I am the first to admit it. I love to text and send messages through Facebook. You never know who God will bring across your path that will need a note of encouragement.

I truly believe that when our eyes are solely focused on God, we see His goodness, love, and grace no matter what we are facing. It's almost like tunnel vision, where we focus only straight ahead. Everything around us doesn't disappear; it just becomes more blurry because our focus has shifted Upward.

As John Piper says, "Don't waste your life". Seize today for it is a gift. Look Upward and touch God's grace.

The clouds will eventually break!

Working on our profile

We are nearing the end of our paperwork. At least I hope. :) Tomorrow we mail out a packet which will retain us with Kirsh & Kirsh. Hallelujah! The final thing we need to work on is our letter to the birth mom which will include our family profile. Our goal is to have it done by the end of next week. This profile will be looked at by birth moms and they will use our profile to select us to be parents to their child. We feel like it's our most important document that we have worked on so far. I started writing it awhile ago, bits and pieces here and there. But, I struggle. What do you say to a woman who is choosing to give you the greatest gift? A gift of sacrifice and love? Needless to say my heart is heavy. Last week I googled birthmom blogs. I was curious about them and was hoping that some kept a blog so I could get a small glimpse of their emotions. What I found were women who were raw; healing; and those who would forever process the decision to give part of themselves away. I found myself coming to terms with my own ignorance of the day our baby will be born and we are handed him/her. It will be our greatest joy to hold them, yet there will be a woman leaving the hospital empty handed and with an empty heart. I had never really thought about it until just a few weeks ago. We go home with a family yet she goes home with grief and pain. The Lord continues to lay on my heart how much she needs our prayers. Not just during her pregnancy but for a lifetime afterwards. Oh, how I pray that through this storm, she will find Jesus. The ultimate Healer. Comforter. Father. I have no idea where God is leading us, but I do know our birth mom will be just as much a gift as our baby. We will be gaining 2 people in our family not just 1. Will you join us in praying for her? We continue to meditate on our verse for 2012: "Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act." Psalm 37:7 We pray you are having a wonderful summer so far. We are having a blast:) XOXO

God's Ways Are Higher

If there is anything I have come to know and believe wholeheartedly it is this truth. Isaiah 55:9 says: "For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." God sees the big picture and knows full well that the path He has me on and you on is better than anything we could each imagine. Sometimes it's so hard to understand, isn't it? Last week, I thought I was pregnant. I was more than confident, actually. The thought was all-consuming. Before I took a pregnancy test, I texted a few people close to me and asked them to pray that no matter what, there wouldn't be any disappointment.  Thankfully, the test was negative. No, that wasn't a type-o; I DID say thankfully. :) I can't say there wasn't ANY disappointment. Right afterwards, I ate Milk Duds and ice cream for dinner. But after that, I was so happy. So happy that tears came to my eyes, even right now as I write this. If I became pregnant, our adoption would have to be put on hold. And that thought brought sadness to Adam and I as we talked about "what if". Even though physically there isn't a baby growing, there is one growing in both of our hearts. The idea of that baby being lost brought so much more sadness to us than the negative sign on a pregnancy test. I am overjoyed that we still have our baby, the baby God has designed perfectly for us. Sometimes we feel like he/she is so close, other days it feels so far away. But we continue to trust. I continue to be amazed at how God works; the way He allows His plans to overtake our own and how He changes our mindset. If you had told me months ago that I would be excited to see a negative sign on a pregnancy test, I wouldn't have believed you. Wow, God is so good. "...My ways are higher than your ways ..."
I am so grateful for the blessing of adoption and that this is the way God has designed our family to be created. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect.

Seasons

You are on my heart and I have been praying for you. Over the last few weeks, I have felt God impressing on my heart to leave a message here for those who are hurting, going through a waiting period, or are in need of healing. I finally have a free moment to sit down and write this.
Whether you are waiting for a job, a spouse, a test result from a doctor, or any other answer God is real and is heartbroken over your pain. Psalms states that he collects our tears in a bottle. (Psalms 56:8)  I have walked through the valley of marriage, the valley of vocation, and the valley of desiring a family. There have been many times that I have questioned if the Lord could really hear my cries out to Him or if He could really see me in the valley. At the end of the day, I had to make a choice. I had to choose to really believe in who He says He is or I had to choose to walk on my own.
Last summer, I was going through an emotional winter. And just like physical New England winters, I felt like my winter was never going to end. And through my hurt and pain, I had to make the choice of believing in God's promises or not. I chose to believe. That was a battle in and of itself. But God promises us that His Word is our weapon and it is active.(Hebrews 4:12) I found verses to pray through several times a day for several months. And ever so slowly, there was break through. The pain or the struggle didn't immediately go away, but God's peace started to flood through the cracks and it soon overshadowed my difficulties. These valleys made God's promises real to me. It is one thing to say I believed in Him. It's another to cling to it and place all my trust in Him because He was all I had at that time.
I believe He can do the same for you. I am overwhelmed by your suffering. Some I know of specifically, some I don't. But the burden I have for you is real and I am praying.

How can you get through your valley?

* Claim God's promises. If you haven't already, get out your Bible and find a verse that speaks to you about your situation. Memorize it. Pray it. It may take some time for the pain to subside and the peace to come in, but I promise you, it will. If you don't have a Bible, I would love to buy you one. Please let me know!

* Praise God. Yes, you read that right. We are to praise God. I personally don't think we have to praise Him FOR the valley while we are in it, but praise Him DESPITE it. By giving thanks to HIm, we are turning our eyes to Him only and taking our focus off of the trial. Philippians 4:6-7 states:" ⁶ Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT) This will be hard. I know. I read in one of the Psalms about David offeirng a "sacrifice of praise". I now understand that phrase. Praise IS a sacrifice..but it is something God will honor.

* Journal. By recording what God is doing for you and through you during hard times will serve as a reminder of His faithfulness in the future. In the Old Testament, God's leaders would set up stone altars as a reminder of how God was faithful to them. These were markers of His answers. I have found this to be true of my prayer journals or notes I have written in my Bible. They have served as constant reminders of God's faithfulness in the past.

I continue to pray for you. I pray that God's faithfulness and peace will eventually be able to supercede your pain. He is the only constant in this world.

The beautifully hard road of adoption

This past week I have been reading through the book "Orphanology", written by my brother and sister-in-law's friend Tony Merida. Tony and his wife Kim have adopted 5 kids: 4 from the Ukraine and 1 from Ethiopia. I was blessed to meet these precious kids 2 years ago when I was in New Orleans. My favorite part of the book? Opening it up to see the signatures of each of these sweet children...such a vivid reminder of their changed lives.
One of the stories Tony mentions has really challenged me. A couple gave their adoption experience~ it was challenging and hard. A true roller coaster. But then they equated it to the suffering that Jesus endured to adopt us into His family. He gave His LIFE to make us His sons and daughters. Shouldn't it be a joy, then, to endure suffering to adopt a little one into our family?
This thought has resonated with me the past few days. Jesus didn't quit because the road was hard. He knew the pain and agony He was going to experience, yet He loved me and you so much that He finished the course. He endured ridicule, betrayal, and physical pain..because of His great love for US!
I think of Jesus' walk up to Calvary. His final moments on earth. That walk must have seemed like it was taking forever. There have been days when Adam and I have felt like that...will we make it to the end? Then I think of the man on the side of the road that carried Jesus' cross for Him because He was struggling. The heavy burden of the cross became overwhelming. That man is each of you~ You have carried our cross for us on so many days. I have saved every text, e-mail, voicemail, card that you have sent us. Adam and I are blessed by each of you. The road Jesus travelled for me to become His daughter was hard, painful, yet beautiful. This is the same for our baby.
As I reflect on what Jesus endured to adopt me, the love I have for this baby is overflowing. What a joy it is to press on for the fatherless and to bring "the lonely into families." (Psalm 68:6)
Have you been adopted by God? Adam and I have..and would love to tell you how He can be your Father. He is waiting for you and continues to fight for you. His deepest desire is to finalize your adoption.

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy

and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us

to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ,

in accordance with His pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:4-5


How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called the children of God!And that is what we are! 1John 3:1