Slow

Over the last few days, the Lord has laid random words on my heart to focus on. One of them is "slow". Really, "slow down". Hasn't our culture become one that is always trying to get to the next "thing"? Rushing, rushing, rushing until it is accomplished.
That is how I have become with our adoption. In my heart, I have been wishing away the next 18 months so that we could have a family. 18 months is a looong time to wish away. To not enjoy. To not enjoy the moment...these moments that are fleeting and ones I will never get back. To be too busy focused on me and not on God's voice.
Adam had texted me a couple of days ago and said he wanted to surprise me with something that would be fun for both of us. When we discussed how much it was going to be, I said I don't think we should do it because we could be saving that money towards our adoption fund. He agreed that adoption is expensive, but (and I love this..) he reminded me that "we can't lose sight of the small things in the mean time." There is a whole lot of life waiting to be enjoyed in 18 months.
And there's a whole lot of work God is doing..daily! It's scary to think how easy it is to be self-absorbed and miss out on what God is trying to speak to me each day. I am reminded of the passage in Luke 24. Jesus had been dead for 3 days. His followers were in deep mourning. 2 guys were walking down the road discussing the events of the past week and along came Jesus, alive, and was walking beside them, talking to them. They had no idea it was their Jesus who was speaking right to them. They were too focused on their hurt and the tragedy of losing Him. How often am I that guy..Jesus right next to me, walking, talking, trying to get my attention..but I am too focused on my own stuff. Too focused on getting paperwork done as quickly as possible so our 18 months can be over and done with.
It's this time in between that I don't want to miss out on. Really. This is when God's voice is loudest, He shines the brightest, and is most glorified.
So as I wait, I do have peace. Hard, yes. But it is there...most days:) And I am giving all I can to enjoy today, each day...time is such a gift.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Stretchmarks of Faith

So many of you have been so sweet and asking if it is OK to ask us how our adoption is going. Of course it is!:) Unfortunately, we continue to have no new news. Carolina Adoption Services have been approved to be re-accredited in Moldova and they are waiting on some of the final steps from the Moldovan government. So, this is positive. When will we find out? Who knows! We just keep pressing on..we have to complete a bunch of pre-adoptive education online and we just have not had the time or energy to do it. If you could pray for us to get this completed, we would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!:)

Counting the blessings:
A close friend of mine e-mailed me about a month ago and said that she was praying for us. Her specific prayer was that I would find another mom who was trying to adopt from Moldova so we could help support each other. Sure enough, I got a message on Facebook a few days later from a friend who lives in Colorado. She had met a woman at her church that was trying to adopt from Moldova and wants us to stay in touch. God is good, isn't He?

Every so often, I wish we had something physical to remind us that a baby is on the way. An ultrasound. A growing stomach. A sure timeline of 9 months. Anything. But with those fleeting thoughts comes conviction. Sometimes a whisper. Sometimes a shout. Jesus reminding me "I AM enough". His fingerprints have been on this whole journey. I don't want to miss Him~His voice, His convictions, His encouragement. The Lord HAS to be my number one desire. HE has to be the source of my joy. Nothing else can bring full satisfaction. Friends can disappoint us. Jobs can leave us. Marriages can fail. Kids can make bad decisions. Jesus is the only constant. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His grace is sufficient in our weakness. Through pain, He brings peace that passes all understanding. His love is unfailing. He came to give us fullness of life. I was reading yesterday how the name that God calls himself  "I AM" is present tense. He loves you today, He is with you today, and He wants to be your number one ...forever.

My deepest desire is to be a mom and have blessed chaos in our small apartment. But if it never happens and the only thing I come out of this is with a deeper relationship with the Lord..not just knowing about Him, but knowing Him...I will have won. Actually, I already have won.

So, come and stretch with me:) I would love to hear what God is doing in your life. He loves you like crazy and so do I! Thank you for checking in on us:)

Psalm 91:2 "This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I trust Him."

So Let It Grow

There have been two verses that over the last few weeks that God has used to speak to me and I wanted to share them because there are several of you that I pray for who are in waiting period. Whether it is for a family, a spouse, a new career, or direction in when to move again, the waiting is hard...but...can also be a time of great joy.

I personally don't wait well and it's apparent that God knows that because here we are, once again, waiting. There have been several occasions throughout our 9 years of marriage where we have had to wait, and it has been hard. Really, really hard. But God is merciful, gracious, and compassionate and I am so thankful for those times in our past to reflect on as we wait on God's timing for a family.

The first verse that has been such an encouragement to me over the last few weeks in James 1:2-4:

 "When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

We simply have a choice to wait or not. To wait for the Lord or take the easy way out of whatever trial we are going through. If we choose to wait, we are allowing God to do amazing things and are allowing Him to bring us to perfection....to bring us to a closer relationship with Him and to know Him in a deeper way than what we had before. Adam and I are choosing "to let it grow."

The second verse I wanted to share is found in Isaiah 45:3:

"And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches.

I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord."

Sometimes waiting does feel  like a dark time, that there isn't really a light at the end of the tunnel. It can feel lonely as everyone else seems to go about their daily lives. But I love how God promises to send us reminders of Him in the dark times...reminders that He is still there, He is working, and He is moving...even when it doesn't always seem like it. For me, these "treasures" have come in many different ways. But over the last several days it has been through e-mails, phone calls, and texts from friends and family. And they often come at random times, but right when I needed to read it. A friend texted me early morning last week and my sister in law texted me at midnight..both including verses that talked about God's timing and His promises. And there have been many other occasions that this has happened and we are so grateful. They have reminded us that God is active and is speaking to us. Another great provision this week...we received a note from our landlords saying that they wanted to cut our rent almost in half for the month of July so we could save the rest for the adoption! They are so generous and needless to say we were quite surprised.

God has been so good to us..so we are embracing the waiting and are excited to see Him "make the impossible possible." (Mark 10:27

Thanks for checking in...please know how grateful we are for each of you:)

Continuing to wait

Just wanted to send you all a quick update..this will probably be the quickest update ever, because there isn't any new news. We heard from our social worker out of North Carolina and everything is still at a standstill and they predict it will be like this until late summer. So we continue to wait. And that's OK
But I haven't been so "OK" with it over the last few weeks. I've been mad, frustrated, sad during Mothers Day and Fathers Day, and just not happy. I was tired of waiting.  Some of you have heard me talk about two little girls on my case load at work. They are sisters and are pretty much the office favorites. They are the highlight of my week when I get to visit them at home. They are waiting to be adopted and their social worker expects that they will be adopted by the end of summer. I started thinking how Adam and I could adopt them and how much joy they would bring to our home. I spoke with the girls' social worker after a case meeting last week and asked what we would need to do if we were interested. She said their case is moving fast but she would move us right along if we were truly interested. I knew in my heart that God was saying "No" but I continued to argue with Him...which never turns out in my favor. Ha. So you can imagine how the conversation went when I told Adam "So, there's these 2 girls who are waiting to be adopted...." He continues to use Adam to remind me of where God has called us and that we have committed ourselves to Moldova until that door closes.
I so want to take the easy way out in all of this but I know we can't. We would be missing out on so much that God wants to show us and teach us. I was reading this morning in Matthew 16:15. Jesus asked Peter "Who do you say that I am?" I felt like it was Jesus asking me that question..."Who am I to you?"  I immediately thought of the power He has over death..He is victorious over everything and has power over everything. And He reminded me this morning that He can make the impossible POSSIBLE.  If I have learned anything over the last few years it's that during these waiting periods the Lord shines the brightest and I know I don't want to miss out on that.
Adam and I are praying over this verse today: Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
We appreciate your continued prayers...thanks for checking in:)

Verse For Today

Psalm 25:4-5
Show me the right path, O Lord;point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.

Thankful for God's presence in the waiting and that He is actively guiding each step.

Delays...

When Adam and I submitted our application for adoption to Moldova, the social worker told us that this program is going through a transition, so we are not surprised about the delay. Sad, yes...surprised, no.
So this is the reason: Moldova's Minister of Labor and Social Protection is running for a new position. Unfortunately, everything is being put on hold until she either gets elected or resumes her old position. This could be as early or June or it could be indefinite. Because of this, our adoption agency is not able to accept any new dossiers (all our international paperwork) at this time. Adam and I were just starting to work on this.
What's the good news in this? We haven't yet submitted our official contract with Carolina Adoption Services (we were about to this week) Along with this contract is a big sum of money that is due and we are so thankful that we didn't send it in yet, just in case it was non-refundable. The other part is the new law that is trying to be passed by Moldova is that they want all adoptive parents to spend 1-3 months IN COUNTRY to bond with the baby. This would be completely impossible for us. So, we are thankful that the news was NOT that this bill had passed.
We would appreciate your prayers for discernment and wisdom as we continue on. We have said from day one that we will continue with adoption from Moldova until the door absolutely closes. So it's not closed yet, but we do have some things to pray about.
Thank you for your support..we are so appreciative.

All Our Needs

Adam and I have had such a busy month and it's hard to believe we are heading into June. I was looking at the last time I had posted something, and it was right when we started our homestudy. Well, we have one more visit with our social worker and this part will be complete! Carol comes to our house next Tuesday to finish up our interview and check out our house. I can't believe how fast time is going.

I have been reminded of a verse in the Bible that says "My God will supply all your needs." I have always loved this verse because it is so simple yet such a powerful promise. But God was quick to convict me in how I read it. I have been quick to assume that it was just talking about my material needs. Of course, I do believe it does refer to Him providing in that way. But He has taught me over the last month that He also supplies our emotional and spiritual needs...always. Over the winter, I participated in an online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries. Through this study I have met some amazing women all over the world who have become genuine friends. One in particular is my friend Noelle. When I shared with the group that Adam and I were in the very beginning stages of adopting, Noelle contacted me immediately. Her and her husband, Ryan, have adopted their beautiful daughter Sierra from China about 7 years ago. Sierra is now 8 years old. Noelle has been an amazing source of encouragement to me over these last few months. Really, words can't do it justice in how her friendship has been a gift to me over the last several weeks. Noelle owns her own fitness bootcamp in California and, within a month or so of us becoming friends, she e-mailed me that she had told all her bootcampers about Adam and I and was going to donate a portion of their fees for the month of March to our adoption! About a month ago, Adam and I not only received their donation but the most beautiful letter from EACH PERSON that participated. Adam and opened it before I had gotten home and when he handed it to me he said "You're going to need some tissues while you read this. No, seriously, you will." He was right. Adoption has its' waves of emotion that I can't really explain and that day was one of those days where it felt like it was impossible. But after reading the words of encouragement from people we have never met, God's peace just flooded me. And he reminded me that He does supply ALL our needs. The way the Lord has been speaking and the people He has been using along the way to speak His Truth has been such an encouragement to us both and we are just humbled by the Lord's care for us.

Needless to say, Adam and I are planning a trip out to California when Hope or Noah comes home so we can meet all our new friends. :) I can't begin to tell you how grateful we are for each of them. We have read and re-read their letter often! (I wish you could see their picture. Noelle sent me a pic of all of them, but for some reason it's not uploading right)

Please pray for adoptions in China~ Noelle and Ryan have been waiting 5 years to bring home their second daughter and are expecting another 2-3 year wait. Join us in praying little Presley home and please pray for Noelle and Ryan that they continue to have the perseverance needed during this long and hard wait.

Thank you for praying and checking in:)

Ryan, Noelle, and their daughter Sierra