I am slowly getting back to writing as time and kids allow:) I have a new blog: colleengyoungblog.wordpress.com
I won't be updating this site anymore. The new blog is a work in progress but is set up and ready to go.
Love to each of you.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
This year
Oh, this blog. I am surprised I even remembered the password. But I actually have a free minute from shoveling and Hope is napping, so I thought I would write a quick update.
How can it be that Hope is almost 2 years old?? I can't take it! I miss the baby stage, but I have to admit, this is by far my most favorite stage yet. Hope loves to sing. Amazing Grace, Jesus Loves Me, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star are some of her favorites. She is obsessed with the alphabet and she constantly has a book in her hand. Hope loves to pray. We could be in the middle of talking and it would be perfectly normal to see her fold her hands, bow her head, and yell "pray pray" until we stop what we are doing and pray with her. Most recently, she has been taking her Bible and will sit next to me while I read mine in the morning. and will say "Jesus Jesus; Cross Cross" Can time just stop right now???
Almost exactly 4 years ago we announced we were starting our adoption journey. Time has flown. If you would have told me 4 years ago, we would be parents to an energetic little girl, I wouldn't have believed you. Time seemed so slow, so long then. It seemed that everyone around us was advancing through life, but we were at a standstill. And now... I can't hold time down. Last year kind of seems like a blur. Having a baby, going back to work, leaving my job, figuring out what the heck parenting is all about, sending adoption updates, and the list goes on. But this year...my goal is to enjoy the simple moments of everyday life: slobbery kisses, crumbs on the floor, coffee with good friends, date nights with Adam. I have been keeping a small scrapbook of each week. It has helped me stay focused on God's goodness in the midst of ordinary, normal life. It hasn't slowed down the clock but it sure has taught me to enjoy each moment I am given. I have been following a blog written by a young mother who is dying of cancer. Her story has impacted me greatly. She encourages her readers to live life, soak in each moment, and live with intention. Her days are numbered. My days are numbered. I want to make each of them count.
And this is certainly a foundational year for Hope, I believe. Her mind is like a sponge. So I am trying to talk with her more about adoption, show her pictures of her birth family, and explain how she was born into our family. I know her little brain can't comprehend it all right now, but it is good practice for me. I pray she will realize how much of a miracle she is and how truly cherished and valued her life is, not just by Adam and I but by Tami and Joe.
I am so humbled to be chosen to be Hope's mother. I truly am. Words seem to escape me today. She is such a gift. Someone had said to me awhile ago that the love you have for a child born to you biologically is always going to be different. Maybe. I will probably never know. But what I do know is that I can't imagine loving Hope more than what I already do. My heart is overflowing.
Thank you for continuing to follow us and be part of our lives. We love you.
How can it be that Hope is almost 2 years old?? I can't take it! I miss the baby stage, but I have to admit, this is by far my most favorite stage yet. Hope loves to sing. Amazing Grace, Jesus Loves Me, and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star are some of her favorites. She is obsessed with the alphabet and she constantly has a book in her hand. Hope loves to pray. We could be in the middle of talking and it would be perfectly normal to see her fold her hands, bow her head, and yell "pray pray" until we stop what we are doing and pray with her. Most recently, she has been taking her Bible and will sit next to me while I read mine in the morning. and will say "Jesus Jesus; Cross Cross" Can time just stop right now???
Almost exactly 4 years ago we announced we were starting our adoption journey. Time has flown. If you would have told me 4 years ago, we would be parents to an energetic little girl, I wouldn't have believed you. Time seemed so slow, so long then. It seemed that everyone around us was advancing through life, but we were at a standstill. And now... I can't hold time down. Last year kind of seems like a blur. Having a baby, going back to work, leaving my job, figuring out what the heck parenting is all about, sending adoption updates, and the list goes on. But this year...my goal is to enjoy the simple moments of everyday life: slobbery kisses, crumbs on the floor, coffee with good friends, date nights with Adam. I have been keeping a small scrapbook of each week. It has helped me stay focused on God's goodness in the midst of ordinary, normal life. It hasn't slowed down the clock but it sure has taught me to enjoy each moment I am given. I have been following a blog written by a young mother who is dying of cancer. Her story has impacted me greatly. She encourages her readers to live life, soak in each moment, and live with intention. Her days are numbered. My days are numbered. I want to make each of them count.
And this is certainly a foundational year for Hope, I believe. Her mind is like a sponge. So I am trying to talk with her more about adoption, show her pictures of her birth family, and explain how she was born into our family. I know her little brain can't comprehend it all right now, but it is good practice for me. I pray she will realize how much of a miracle she is and how truly cherished and valued her life is, not just by Adam and I but by Tami and Joe.
I am so humbled to be chosen to be Hope's mother. I truly am. Words seem to escape me today. She is such a gift. Someone had said to me awhile ago that the love you have for a child born to you biologically is always going to be different. Maybe. I will probably never know. But what I do know is that I can't imagine loving Hope more than what I already do. My heart is overflowing.
Thank you for continuing to follow us and be part of our lives. We love you.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Reflections Part 2: Celebrating life
Life. I started writing this post almost 3 months ago. We have been busy, to say the least. I'm not going to change any of it. I am on a time crunch...trying to squeeze this post in while Hope finishes up her nap :)
About a month ago, I was looking through my calendar on my phone and came across April 13th: "My due date". I have no idea when I put that in there but it caught me off guard for a second. A little bit of sadness came because how I pray that Hope someday and somehow can be a big sister. But as quickly as it came the sadness quickly left. In that moment God showed me that He is the God of details and sees our hearts and I truly believe orchestrates events to show His compassion on us. Just a few days before I had seen this in my phone, Adam and I had picked April 12th to celebrate Hope's 1st birthday at a butterfly garden. So instead of dwelling on "what could have been", He had it all planned that we would be celebrating the miracle of Hope and the faithfulness that God has shown us this past year. I continue to be amazed at how faithful He has been to us and how much He loves us.
We have such a compassionate God. As we walked with Hope looking at butterflies (well, she more screamed then looked at them happily:) I thanked God for the one who flew into our lives forever and the one who flew away. Both such amazing signs of His miracles. I am so thankful.
Another God-orchestrated event this week has been the opportunity I have had to participate in "40 Days For Life". For the past 40 days, people all over the world have been peacefully praying outside of local abortion clinics for these women in crisis. I found out that there is a clinic about 7 minutes from my house, so Hope and I have been making the trek over there to just pray. Fridays are the day the doctor comes in to perform the procedures and I saw many women and men walk through the doors to make their decision final. Beyond heartbreaking. I often times would look down at Hope and thank God for her mom choosing life for her. And then my heart would break for these young women who think this is the only option for them. (Side note: I do not mention this to spring a debate about pro-life vs. pro choice. So, please no negative comments. Thanks.)
So not only have we celebrated life but we have prayed for the lives of women in crisis and their unborn babies. It has been a full week, but I am beyond blessed.
I share these 2 stories only to encourage those who are hurting and feel God has forgotten them. I hope this encourages you in a small way to see how God is invested in the tiniest details of our lives and desires to show His loving kindness to us.
Fast forward to today, July 1. Hope is 15 months old and active, active, active. She keeps us very busy. Her personality is quickly developing and she is such a joy. She loves to read out loud, loves music, loves to throw her food, and loves to hug her Curious George. I still can't believe God chose us to raise her.
And God continues to grow and develop me. Right now I am in a stretching stage. He has been burdening me with writing more and developing a book about our adoption, our waiting, and how our faith sustained us. So, since about February I have been slowly working on it as time allows. I am thankful for the 10-12 prayer journals I have kept over the last 12 years that will pretty much write this book for me. It has been a time of great reflection for me. A time to see where we started and to see the finish. I am not the same person that I was when I said "I do" in 2002 and I am definitely not the same person that I was when we started our journey to Hope in 2011. Thank God. I was reading this morning in Psalm 119. Verses 71-72 jumped out at me:
About a month ago, I was looking through my calendar on my phone and came across April 13th: "My due date". I have no idea when I put that in there but it caught me off guard for a second. A little bit of sadness came because how I pray that Hope someday and somehow can be a big sister. But as quickly as it came the sadness quickly left. In that moment God showed me that He is the God of details and sees our hearts and I truly believe orchestrates events to show His compassion on us. Just a few days before I had seen this in my phone, Adam and I had picked April 12th to celebrate Hope's 1st birthday at a butterfly garden. So instead of dwelling on "what could have been", He had it all planned that we would be celebrating the miracle of Hope and the faithfulness that God has shown us this past year. I continue to be amazed at how faithful He has been to us and how much He loves us.
We have such a compassionate God. As we walked with Hope looking at butterflies (well, she more screamed then looked at them happily:) I thanked God for the one who flew into our lives forever and the one who flew away. Both such amazing signs of His miracles. I am so thankful.
Another God-orchestrated event this week has been the opportunity I have had to participate in "40 Days For Life". For the past 40 days, people all over the world have been peacefully praying outside of local abortion clinics for these women in crisis. I found out that there is a clinic about 7 minutes from my house, so Hope and I have been making the trek over there to just pray. Fridays are the day the doctor comes in to perform the procedures and I saw many women and men walk through the doors to make their decision final. Beyond heartbreaking. I often times would look down at Hope and thank God for her mom choosing life for her. And then my heart would break for these young women who think this is the only option for them. (Side note: I do not mention this to spring a debate about pro-life vs. pro choice. So, please no negative comments. Thanks.)
So not only have we celebrated life but we have prayed for the lives of women in crisis and their unborn babies. It has been a full week, but I am beyond blessed.
I share these 2 stories only to encourage those who are hurting and feel God has forgotten them. I hope this encourages you in a small way to see how God is invested in the tiniest details of our lives and desires to show His loving kindness to us.
Fast forward to today, July 1. Hope is 15 months old and active, active, active. She keeps us very busy. Her personality is quickly developing and she is such a joy. She loves to read out loud, loves music, loves to throw her food, and loves to hug her Curious George. I still can't believe God chose us to raise her.
And God continues to grow and develop me. Right now I am in a stretching stage. He has been burdening me with writing more and developing a book about our adoption, our waiting, and how our faith sustained us. So, since about February I have been slowly working on it as time allows. I am thankful for the 10-12 prayer journals I have kept over the last 12 years that will pretty much write this book for me. It has been a time of great reflection for me. A time to see where we started and to see the finish. I am not the same person that I was when I said "I do" in 2002 and I am definitely not the same person that I was when we started our journey to Hope in 2011. Thank God. I was reading this morning in Psalm 119. Verses 71-72 jumped out at me:
"My suffering was good for me
for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.
Your instructions are more valuable to me
than millions in gold and silver."
And it's true. It was hard. But it was necessary. And it was ultimately good. I was brought to a place where I could only rely on the goodness of God's promises. It's not an easy place to be. But it is the safest and most secure.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Reflections Part 1: Adoption
So many of you have been asking how life is: asking about adoption, life as a mother, and how I have been feeling since our miscarriage. So I thought I would do 3 separate posts. It was going to be 1..but was waaayyyy too long. :)
Adoption:
As most of you know, our adoption with Hope's birth family is open. This means we have unlimited contact with them. We have chosen to give them our phone number so they can call any time to hear how Hope is. We continue to update our private Facebook page on a weekly basis so they can see Hope grow. For Christmas, we made a scrapbook of each month since her birth so they have something special for her.
We have also skyped with them so they got to see Hope 'live". That was such a joy.
We wouldn't have it any other way. We are so comfortable with them. They are our family! What a gift to them as well as to Hope. It brings me so much happiness knowing that she will grow up knowing her birth family. When she is old enough, it will be her ultimate choice to decide what she wants to do with that. But my prayer is that by her being brought up with knowing them, she will continue to want to foster that relationship.
One thing I had been dealing with is guilt. Guilt of being overjoyed with Hope, while Tami has been grieving. Guilt of taking her daughter, even tho I know she chose us to raise Hope. It started the moment we said goodbye to Tami and Joe in the hospital. I almost told her I couldn't do it. My heart broke for her. Tami and I hugged each other for so long, I am pretty sure neither of us wanted to let go. Phone conversations for me after that were initially awkward. I struggled with sounding excited about Hope, struggled with calling myself her Mom, etc. I am so thankful for some friends who are adoptive moms who said this is normal. It has gotten so much better for me. Tami loves to see Hope with us...it brings her so much comfort in knowing how loved Hope is.
Many of you have asked how Tami is doing. That is one thing I can't bring myself to ask. I can't know because of this guilt I had been battling with that I just shared about. It seems, from what I can tell, her grief has eased. But let's be honest, this is something that she will think about every day. Our conversations are always upbeat..we talk like we have been friends for a long time. So, I just leave it at that. I pray constantly that she has a support network around her.
One amazing answer to prayer is that long before we were matched, I had been praying for whoever this lovely woman would be. My heart's prayer was that she would be surrounded by someone..anyone...who could pray for her and give her the comfort that only Jesus can bring. Come to find out, 2 of Tami's relatives are strong Christians! (At least from what I can tell and what small interaction I have had with them.) And I know they have reached out to Tami (as she has allowed) to tell her about Jesus. What an answer to prayer!Some have asked when we will tell Hope about her family. Well, it is always part of our conversation. On occasion, I show Hope pictures of her birth family and say their names. I will start doing this more often now that she is alert and pays attention to everything. We want her to now them, to know how much she is loved by them, and to know that she has 2 sets of parents that care for her deeply.
Adoption has been nothing short of a miracle for us. And the blessing of having an open relationship with Hope's family is just beautiful. We are so grateful and humbled by God's faithfulness to us. He is the God of the impossible and makes all things beautiful in His time. We given Him all the glory.
Adoption:
As most of you know, our adoption with Hope's birth family is open. This means we have unlimited contact with them. We have chosen to give them our phone number so they can call any time to hear how Hope is. We continue to update our private Facebook page on a weekly basis so they can see Hope grow. For Christmas, we made a scrapbook of each month since her birth so they have something special for her.
We have also skyped with them so they got to see Hope 'live". That was such a joy.
We wouldn't have it any other way. We are so comfortable with them. They are our family! What a gift to them as well as to Hope. It brings me so much happiness knowing that she will grow up knowing her birth family. When she is old enough, it will be her ultimate choice to decide what she wants to do with that. But my prayer is that by her being brought up with knowing them, she will continue to want to foster that relationship.
One thing I had been dealing with is guilt. Guilt of being overjoyed with Hope, while Tami has been grieving. Guilt of taking her daughter, even tho I know she chose us to raise Hope. It started the moment we said goodbye to Tami and Joe in the hospital. I almost told her I couldn't do it. My heart broke for her. Tami and I hugged each other for so long, I am pretty sure neither of us wanted to let go. Phone conversations for me after that were initially awkward. I struggled with sounding excited about Hope, struggled with calling myself her Mom, etc. I am so thankful for some friends who are adoptive moms who said this is normal. It has gotten so much better for me. Tami loves to see Hope with us...it brings her so much comfort in knowing how loved Hope is.
Many of you have asked how Tami is doing. That is one thing I can't bring myself to ask. I can't know because of this guilt I had been battling with that I just shared about. It seems, from what I can tell, her grief has eased. But let's be honest, this is something that she will think about every day. Our conversations are always upbeat..we talk like we have been friends for a long time. So, I just leave it at that. I pray constantly that she has a support network around her.
One amazing answer to prayer is that long before we were matched, I had been praying for whoever this lovely woman would be. My heart's prayer was that she would be surrounded by someone..anyone...who could pray for her and give her the comfort that only Jesus can bring. Come to find out, 2 of Tami's relatives are strong Christians! (At least from what I can tell and what small interaction I have had with them.) And I know they have reached out to Tami (as she has allowed) to tell her about Jesus. What an answer to prayer!Some have asked when we will tell Hope about her family. Well, it is always part of our conversation. On occasion, I show Hope pictures of her birth family and say their names. I will start doing this more often now that she is alert and pays attention to everything. We want her to now them, to know how much she is loved by them, and to know that she has 2 sets of parents that care for her deeply.
Adoption has been nothing short of a miracle for us. And the blessing of having an open relationship with Hope's family is just beautiful. We are so grateful and humbled by God's faithfulness to us. He is the God of the impossible and makes all things beautiful in His time. We given Him all the glory.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
A Year of Miracles
Have you ever bought the perfect gift for someone and were so excited to give it to them but knew you had to wait for the right time, such as their birthday or Christmas? This is how I imagine God this time last year as Adam and I waited for a baby. Little did we know as we entered into 2013 how close we were to Hope coming into our lives. She was only a couple of months away. I imagine God in Heaven with an excited smile waiting to give us His perfect gift. We have been so blessed. I couldn't help thinking this over and over this holiday season. And with this thought, were many moments of happy tears. My heart has been overflowing. I have been cherishing my time with Hope, especially as I rock her to sleep. That, lately, has been my quiet time; my time to pray and talk to God. I love how when I start singing Amazing Grace to her, she looks up at me and smiles. (It's what I have been singing to her since she came home.) I love how she gets excited when we read together, and I just pray that each time I read from her baby Bible, that the words even now are piercing her tiny heart. How I have loved my time in that glider, staring at this sweet baby...our miracle...and praising God continuously. He is faithful. He is gracious. And I am so humbled.
I remember back in May, when Hope was just about 2 months old, she was going through a hard time with eating. She was so colicky and I was beyond sleep deprived. It was about 1AM and I was trying to rock her to sleep. I just started praying. God reminded me of life before Hope. How I would give anything to have a sleepless night if it meant I could rock a baby. How I would give anything to hear a baby cry in our home. (Only those who have waited/are waiting so long for a baby would understand these crazy prayers:) Anyway, I remember praying "Don't let me forget. Help me to still feel the pain." I know, crazy. But I don't want to forget how I felt before Hope. I certainly don't dwell on it, but to still feel some of that pain deepens my love for Hope and reminds me of what a miracle she is. It also helps me to pray fervently for women who are still waiting for their baby whether it's through adoption, foster care, or pregnancy. (Ladies, you know who you are and I am praying in my glider :)
As I look back on 2013, I see miracles surrounding me~ my miracle through adoption and my miracle through pregnancy even if it was for just a short time. I do still feel sadness as I look at the ultrasound picture from time to time. But the sadness doesn't define me anymore. I am thankful for God's deliverance and for people He put in my life to literally pray us through that time. For the past few years, I have chosen a word for the new year. My word for 2013 was "mission". Little did I know what mission God had for me. It's amazing how He works:)
For 2014, I have chosen the word "wholehearted". Since November, I have been struggling with what this actually entails...to wholeheartedly follow Jesus. God has been working on my heart to loosen the grips of pride, time, and comfort that have taken a stake in me. I am excited to study the verse Mark 12:30 "And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.", as well as read through the Chronological Bible throughout 2014.
As God begins a new story for each of us this year, Adam and I continue to thank Him for each of you. You have played a part in our miracles of 2013 and we are forever grateful. Our prayer is that through each of these miracles, you have seen the goodness of Jesus and have seen the grace and love that only He can offer.
Happy 2014! We love you.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Life Lately
It has been so long since I have updated this blog..as you can imagine, life has been extremely busy! Hope is now almost 6 months old. I can't even believe it! It still seems like we were just sitting on our couch trying to figure out how we were going to get to Indiana that night for her birth!
I know Adam and I can't even imagine our lives without Hope. The joy she has brought to our home is more than we ever expected. Hope is one happy little girl. She lights up a room with her big open mouth smile. She loves to make noises and has mastered the art of screaming. She is attempting to crawl (Lord help us!) but right now she is more planking than anything. :) We are so blessed by her. Not a day goes by where we aren't reminded of how much a miracle she is. We are in love with this little girl.
My biggest joy over the last couple of weeks has been that I have left my job and am now staying home full time! I am not sure how long I will be able to go without working at all, but for right now, I am enjoying spending my days with Hope. Eventually I will look for a part time job, but Adam and I are figuring out ways to save money so hopefully I won't have to. I am so thankful to God for this opportunity. I don't take it for granted. If this were about 5 years ago, there would have been no way that this would be possible! But I do believe God had been helping us get to this point.
But with all of the happiness, life still goes on and there are still trials. I've debated about sharing this but am hoping that through our circumstances someone will be encouraged through their own hurting. In the middle of August, Adam and I were celebrating~ I had just found out I was pregnant! You can believe the shock and amazement that went along with it. Another miracle baby. This baby that we never thought could be was actually a reality. Adam and I spent many days laughing..What the heck were we going to do with 2 babies under 1 years old?? But we were thrilled and praising God for His mercy.
We went in for an ultrasound and was able to see the heart beating. The nurse said the baby was only measuring to be around 6 weeks. I thought that that was off, because I thought I was at least 7 or 8 weeks along, but I wasn't sure of my dates. She scheduled me to come back the next week for another ultrasound. When the nurse started the ultrasound, I saw her face out of the corner of my eye and I knew. She told me that the baby had lost its' heartbeat and had never continued to grow past 6 weeks. I met with the doctor right afterwards and she gave me some options. I decided that I wanted to try to miscarry naturally so we scheduled for me to come back the next week to see how I was.
The last 2 weeks I have been dealing with a lot of anger towards God. I didn't ask for this baby and was finally at a place where I was completely content with thinking I would never get pregnant. But yet, why would He allow me to experience all of this happiness and take it away so quickly? I have no clue. But I fought Him hard on it. But every time I would tell Him how angry I was, Hope happened to be in the room with me. And I knew. I knew I couldn't deny how amazingly good He is, how amazingly faithful He was as I look at Hope. He has blessed us beyond measure with Hope. But the anger was still there. The frustration was there. It was definitely a battle between what my mind wanted to think and what my heart knew to be Truth. I wanted my mind to win..that way I could be angry and blame God.
This past week, the miscarriage still had not happened, so I went in to the doctor and she stated another option was to take a medication that would induce it to happen. I decided to do that. This past Saturday night I took it. I am so thankful Adam was home. The side effects were far worse than what had been explained to me. I couldn't move off of the kitchen floor and Adam just sat with me and literally prayed us through that night. I am so blessed by him!
Over the last couple of days, my anger is slowly slipping away. I literally see God's goodness when I look at Hope. It is undeniable. And He has reminded me again that He is a God of miracles! There is a tiny baby in Heaven that is proof.
Yesterday I was cooking dinner and listening to Pandora. Every song that came on was about God's grace. It was exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I feel like Grace is what has kept my life together, my marriage, and my sweet little family.
I know Adam and I can't even imagine our lives without Hope. The joy she has brought to our home is more than we ever expected. Hope is one happy little girl. She lights up a room with her big open mouth smile. She loves to make noises and has mastered the art of screaming. She is attempting to crawl (Lord help us!) but right now she is more planking than anything. :) We are so blessed by her. Not a day goes by where we aren't reminded of how much a miracle she is. We are in love with this little girl.
My biggest joy over the last couple of weeks has been that I have left my job and am now staying home full time! I am not sure how long I will be able to go without working at all, but for right now, I am enjoying spending my days with Hope. Eventually I will look for a part time job, but Adam and I are figuring out ways to save money so hopefully I won't have to. I am so thankful to God for this opportunity. I don't take it for granted. If this were about 5 years ago, there would have been no way that this would be possible! But I do believe God had been helping us get to this point.
But with all of the happiness, life still goes on and there are still trials. I've debated about sharing this but am hoping that through our circumstances someone will be encouraged through their own hurting. In the middle of August, Adam and I were celebrating~ I had just found out I was pregnant! You can believe the shock and amazement that went along with it. Another miracle baby. This baby that we never thought could be was actually a reality. Adam and I spent many days laughing..What the heck were we going to do with 2 babies under 1 years old?? But we were thrilled and praising God for His mercy.
We went in for an ultrasound and was able to see the heart beating. The nurse said the baby was only measuring to be around 6 weeks. I thought that that was off, because I thought I was at least 7 or 8 weeks along, but I wasn't sure of my dates. She scheduled me to come back the next week for another ultrasound. When the nurse started the ultrasound, I saw her face out of the corner of my eye and I knew. She told me that the baby had lost its' heartbeat and had never continued to grow past 6 weeks. I met with the doctor right afterwards and she gave me some options. I decided that I wanted to try to miscarry naturally so we scheduled for me to come back the next week to see how I was.
The last 2 weeks I have been dealing with a lot of anger towards God. I didn't ask for this baby and was finally at a place where I was completely content with thinking I would never get pregnant. But yet, why would He allow me to experience all of this happiness and take it away so quickly? I have no clue. But I fought Him hard on it. But every time I would tell Him how angry I was, Hope happened to be in the room with me. And I knew. I knew I couldn't deny how amazingly good He is, how amazingly faithful He was as I look at Hope. He has blessed us beyond measure with Hope. But the anger was still there. The frustration was there. It was definitely a battle between what my mind wanted to think and what my heart knew to be Truth. I wanted my mind to win..that way I could be angry and blame God.
This past week, the miscarriage still had not happened, so I went in to the doctor and she stated another option was to take a medication that would induce it to happen. I decided to do that. This past Saturday night I took it. I am so thankful Adam was home. The side effects were far worse than what had been explained to me. I couldn't move off of the kitchen floor and Adam just sat with me and literally prayed us through that night. I am so blessed by him!
Over the last couple of days, my anger is slowly slipping away. I literally see God's goodness when I look at Hope. It is undeniable. And He has reminded me again that He is a God of miracles! There is a tiny baby in Heaven that is proof.
Yesterday I was cooking dinner and listening to Pandora. Every song that came on was about God's grace. It was exactly what I needed to be reminded of. I feel like Grace is what has kept my life together, my marriage, and my sweet little family.
"His grace is enough."
"Like a flood, His mercy reigns.
Unending love, amazing grace."
Right now, I am choosing joy. Not happiness...because that is so temporary and based on feelings. But joy, despite my sadness (which I am still battling) ..because I know how faithful God is.
"2 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." James 1:2-4
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Mother's Day Weekend
What a happy weekend it was! The celebration started on Saturday with a family baby shower that my parents hosted. It was a wonderful time for our extended family to all come together and celebrate Hope's arrival to our family. We had such a wonderful afternoon introducing Hope to everyone. She was quite the celebrity, as you can imagine! It didn't take much for me or my dad to get a teeny bit emotional. I wish you all could have heard him speak about the blessing Hope is. :)Thank you, Mom and Dad, for a beautiful day!
Leading up to Mother's Day, I would think about it every so often and would feel a twinge of anxiety about it, like I would in years past. I don't know why. So I asked Adam if we could go out in the morning for breakfast, just the 3 of us and spend time together. We had a great morning. Adam surprised me with a butterfly necklace from Tiffany's. Before I knew what it was, I saw the infamous blue box and started to cry. And of course, when I saw the necklace, the tears continued to come. We had sent Tami a similar necklace that we picked out at the mall a couple of weeks back. I had enclosed a card to explain the symbol of the butterfly and why it was so special to me. (click here for the post on butterflies.) I am so blessed with such a sweet and thoughtful husband. So very blessed.
Of course, my heart was on Tami all day. Here I was celebrating this beautiful baby that she is living without. I couldn't stop thanking the Lord for this precious gift, not only in Hope but in Tami. I had spoken with her a few days prior and I wish each of you could hear the happiness and joy in her voice as I told her how Hope was and what we were doing with her. I know that there is peace in knowing Hope is loved and cared for, despite the pain that is still in her heart. We set up a private Facebook page that is just for the 4 of us, so we could post pictures frequently. It is such a wonderful way to communicate! Tami messaged me to wish me a happy Mother's Day, which made me so happy. I told her that not only did we celebrate Hope, but her as well. Tami replied that all she asks is that we take good care of her little girl. When I promised her that we will love her beyond measure, she responded "I know you will...that's why I chose you." I am excited to see how God continues to grow our relationship throughout the years to come. My prayer is that she will continue to see Jesus in us and that her heart will be pointed to Him. And, my prayer over Hope is that she will grow to understand how much Tami loves her. I am blessed to share the title of "Mother" with Tami. We are mothers to her in different ways, yet mothers nonetheless. This quote below encapsulates the whole idea of adoption so beautifully:
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| My mom and grandfather. I love how enamored he is over Hope. :) |
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| It was so wonderful to see Adam's sister Amanda and niece Mackenzie!Love them! |
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| My lovely mother in law. Susie, and sister in law, Vanessa |
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| Correne has been a faithful prayer warrior. She shared with me that, several months ago, she started to pray specifically that our baby would arrive before Mother's Day. :) |
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| Kelly (right) has been my little sister for 20+years. (Maybe almost 30?!?) So overjoyed to see her and her mom, Nancy! |
Of course, my heart was on Tami all day. Here I was celebrating this beautiful baby that she is living without. I couldn't stop thanking the Lord for this precious gift, not only in Hope but in Tami. I had spoken with her a few days prior and I wish each of you could hear the happiness and joy in her voice as I told her how Hope was and what we were doing with her. I know that there is peace in knowing Hope is loved and cared for, despite the pain that is still in her heart. We set up a private Facebook page that is just for the 4 of us, so we could post pictures frequently. It is such a wonderful way to communicate! Tami messaged me to wish me a happy Mother's Day, which made me so happy. I told her that not only did we celebrate Hope, but her as well. Tami replied that all she asks is that we take good care of her little girl. When I promised her that we will love her beyond measure, she responded "I know you will...that's why I chose you." I am excited to see how God continues to grow our relationship throughout the years to come. My prayer is that she will continue to see Jesus in us and that her heart will be pointed to Him. And, my prayer over Hope is that she will grow to understand how much Tami loves her. I am blessed to share the title of "Mother" with Tami. We are mothers to her in different ways, yet mothers nonetheless. This quote below encapsulates the whole idea of adoption so beautifully:
I also just want to say thank you to so many of you who made this day extra special for me. I was so touched by all the texts, phone calls, messages, cards and gifts that I received! I am humbled that so many of you thought of me! You have been instrumental over these last couple of years~your prayers and encouragement mean more than you could ever know! THANK YOU!!!!
Hope~ I am so blessed that God chose me to be your Mommy. My heart is overflowing with love for you. I love you, my sweet little butterfly.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Butterflies
Before Hope arrived, some would ask if we had a theme picked out for our nursery. To be honest, it was one thing I couldn't quite wrap my mind around. We were so busy doing other things, such as paperwork and making profiles, etc. that putting together the nursery was at the bottom of the list. I also am so not a girl when it comes to that. Decorating is so not my thing and I didn't really care too much about it. The only thing I knew is that I would want it to have some significance as this baby was going to be a miracle and a special gift.
The Saturday before we met Hope (and still waiting to hear if we would be chosen by this family), we were at Babies R Us picking up a car seat and stroller, just in case we would be on our way to meet this sweet baby. While walking around, we saw some bedding that had butterflies on it and Adam asked "What about butterflies for the nursery?" It was then I knew that it was perfect. About a year ago, when we switched over to the domestic adoption program, I haphazardly started looking up birth mother blogs to read about adoption from their perspective. It was the best thing I could have done as I read about their experiences. It helped me to pray for the woman Adam and I would be matched with. While I was clicking through blog after blog, I came across one particular blog of a woman who had made an adoption plan for her daughter. The love this mother had for her daughter just radiated through her writing. I also felt her pain as she made the hardest decision of her life. She described her daughter as a butterfly; this baby she loved so much that she knew she had to let her fly away to begin a new life. It didn't mean she loved her less, but I believe it means she loved her deeply.
And so it is with Hope. Tami and Joe's beautiful butterfly who flew into our lives by only God's grace and by His miracle. I also think of how it represents the story God is writing in each of our lives. Each season is used to allow us to grow. Sometimes we feel so secluded and confined, not knowing how God could ever make anything beautiful out of our cocooned life. But then it happens. It is time. Time for God to show His glory...beauty that only He can show through our lives. Time for us to burst through for a new beginning. Like a dear friend said in an e-mail while we were on our way to pick up Hope, "The stories God writes are always beautiful." (Thank you, Wendy Emberly:)
The Saturday before we met Hope (and still waiting to hear if we would be chosen by this family), we were at Babies R Us picking up a car seat and stroller, just in case we would be on our way to meet this sweet baby. While walking around, we saw some bedding that had butterflies on it and Adam asked "What about butterflies for the nursery?" It was then I knew that it was perfect. About a year ago, when we switched over to the domestic adoption program, I haphazardly started looking up birth mother blogs to read about adoption from their perspective. It was the best thing I could have done as I read about their experiences. It helped me to pray for the woman Adam and I would be matched with. While I was clicking through blog after blog, I came across one particular blog of a woman who had made an adoption plan for her daughter. The love this mother had for her daughter just radiated through her writing. I also felt her pain as she made the hardest decision of her life. She described her daughter as a butterfly; this baby she loved so much that she knew she had to let her fly away to begin a new life. It didn't mean she loved her less, but I believe it means she loved her deeply.
And so it is with Hope. Tami and Joe's beautiful butterfly who flew into our lives by only God's grace and by His miracle. I also think of how it represents the story God is writing in each of our lives. Each season is used to allow us to grow. Sometimes we feel so secluded and confined, not knowing how God could ever make anything beautiful out of our cocooned life. But then it happens. It is time. Time for God to show His glory...beauty that only He can show through our lives. Time for us to burst through for a new beginning. Like a dear friend said in an e-mail while we were on our way to pick up Hope, "The stories God writes are always beautiful." (Thank you, Wendy Emberly:)
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Happy 1st month!
April 28th marked Hope's 1 month birthday. We cannot believe that over a month has gone by! It feels like Hope has been here with us forever, yet it feels like we just got home yesterday from Indiana. We know that the time will continue to pass us by more quickly than we care to imagine.
I feel like we have adjusted to parenthood well. Hope is a really good baby. She is very alert, loves to stretch, kick, and punch after her nap times. She is starting to notice toys on her activity mat (Thank you, Mom and Dad!) and is starting to bat at them with her hands. 
Hope smiles and laughs a lot in her sleep which makes us so happy. Adam and I still just stare at her, not believing that she is really our daughter. We continue to be amazed at the blessings God has showered us with. It is so hard to believe that Hope is here and our family is finally together.
Hope has adjusted fairly well to sleeping, which we are so happy about:) (Or, better put, WE have adjusted fairly well to HER sleep schedule:) We definitely have our sleep deprived nights/days, but overall it has been OK! Usually after her early morning feeding, she comes into bed with us and cuddles. She loves to scrunch up in a ball and fall asleep on us. We are enjoying every moment of that. We can't kiss her and hold her enough!
We just sent our first update in to Hope's birth parents. We put together a small album and wrote a letter of how Hope is doing. Our prayer is that our pictures will bring them comfort and that they will see how loved Hope is by us and all of you.I am loving every second of being home. During the day, we take walks, read stories, and sing. I love to sing "Amazing Grace" to her and I think she is starting to recognize it. A lot of the times when I start to sing it she stops moving and stares up at me. So sweet. My favorite verse of that song is :
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.
This usually results in tears in my eyes as I stare at Hope. She is His goodness personified. We didn't know her face for so long, yet we knew she was there, growing in our hearts.. we trusted that God's goodness was there. There were hard days, there were good days. Many of those days we had to purposefully choose to believe God's promises, despite how sad or angry we were. Because despite those feelings, we knew that God was good all the time and knew that everything He does was perfect. I don't know what each of you is praying for or waiting for. But I do encourage you to claim one of God's promises and cling to it, pray over it, meditate on it. Soon it will become ingrained in your heart that it will be second nature to pray over during those tough days. One of the first passages that I chose when we started our adoption was Psalm 33:20-22:
20 We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
for our hope is in you alone.
As we look at Hope, we see God's hope. His overflowing goodness; His unending faithfulness. And as we spend each precious moment with her, we are constantly reminded that God is our only source of strength..our true, living hope.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Our Story of Hope Part 2: The Ultimate Sacrifice
When our adoption plans changed from international to domestic, I knew God had more in store for us than just having a baby. Adam and I both felt early on a burden for the mother who would be making us parents. I remember many nights feeling like she was so close. The burden would be so heavy I would often fall asleep wondering about her. And looking back on it, when we did decide on a domestic adoption, Hope was very close to being conceived.
As we continued on in the process, our ultimate desire was to have as good of a relationship with her as possible. Of course, every situation is different, but our prayers focused on being able to have a positive connection with this amazing woman.
Little did we know how amazingly God would answer our prayers. Far more than we could ever imagine. We are blessed to be matched with both Hope's parents, which hardly ever happens. And they are the most beautiful people we know. We are remaining firm with keeping their reason for adoption private as well as their pictures, so we kindly ask that you not press us for that information. The reason doesn't matter. But I will tell you this: love is why they chose adoption. The love they have for Hope runs so deep that they couldn't think of a more beautiful plan for her life other than adoption. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you know letting them go was the best way you could love that person? It just amazes me. I am reminded that this is how God loved us. He literally sacrificed Jesus, watched Him bear all of our sins and ugliness, and die a despicable death. All because He loved you and me so much. Redeeming love. I will never be able to wrap my mind around that, just as I will not be able to wrap my mind on the love Tami and Joe have for sweet Hope.
In the short time we had with Tami and Joe, we grew to love them so much. Our family increased by 3, not just 1. Saying goodbye to them both in the hospital was the hardest day for Adam and I. I remember Tami and I just hugging each other and she said "All I ask is that you love her completely." I remember these words often each day. As I'm changing her, as I get up late at night to feed her, as she falls asleep in my arms. There is nothing we could ever do to repay them for this beautiful gift, except to love her completely.
God isn't done with our story and with our friendship with Tami and Joe. Actually, I feel like it is just beginning. We have an open adoption and they have our phone number so we are able to have communication whenever we want. After last week's bombings in Boston, both of them called a couple of times just to check in to see if we were OK. Tami and I ended up talking for well over an hour. She was able to laugh at the funny things Hope does, was excited to hear how our families have received her and wanted to know when she was going to church for the first time. Our prayer is that this relationship continues to deepen and that through all of this, they will be pointed to Jesus.
How blessed is Hope to have 2 mothers and 2 fathers who love her deeply. Tami wrote to us, "Always let her know that we love her, but she was meant to be with you...I knew after laying eyes on you, that God sent you to me just for {Hope}."
There are no words.
As we continued on in the process, our ultimate desire was to have as good of a relationship with her as possible. Of course, every situation is different, but our prayers focused on being able to have a positive connection with this amazing woman.
Little did we know how amazingly God would answer our prayers. Far more than we could ever imagine. We are blessed to be matched with both Hope's parents, which hardly ever happens. And they are the most beautiful people we know. We are remaining firm with keeping their reason for adoption private as well as their pictures, so we kindly ask that you not press us for that information. The reason doesn't matter. But I will tell you this: love is why they chose adoption. The love they have for Hope runs so deep that they couldn't think of a more beautiful plan for her life other than adoption. Can you imagine loving someone so much that you know letting them go was the best way you could love that person? It just amazes me. I am reminded that this is how God loved us. He literally sacrificed Jesus, watched Him bear all of our sins and ugliness, and die a despicable death. All because He loved you and me so much. Redeeming love. I will never be able to wrap my mind around that, just as I will not be able to wrap my mind on the love Tami and Joe have for sweet Hope.
In the short time we had with Tami and Joe, we grew to love them so much. Our family increased by 3, not just 1. Saying goodbye to them both in the hospital was the hardest day for Adam and I. I remember Tami and I just hugging each other and she said "All I ask is that you love her completely." I remember these words often each day. As I'm changing her, as I get up late at night to feed her, as she falls asleep in my arms. There is nothing we could ever do to repay them for this beautiful gift, except to love her completely.
God isn't done with our story and with our friendship with Tami and Joe. Actually, I feel like it is just beginning. We have an open adoption and they have our phone number so we are able to have communication whenever we want. After last week's bombings in Boston, both of them called a couple of times just to check in to see if we were OK. Tami and I ended up talking for well over an hour. She was able to laugh at the funny things Hope does, was excited to hear how our families have received her and wanted to know when she was going to church for the first time. Our prayer is that this relationship continues to deepen and that through all of this, they will be pointed to Jesus.
How blessed is Hope to have 2 mothers and 2 fathers who love her deeply. Tami wrote to us, "Always let her know that we love her, but she was meant to be with you...I knew after laying eyes on you, that God sent you to me just for {Hope}."
There are no words.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Our Story of Hope Part 1: We are matched; Hope is here!
I never could have imagined Hope's birth story to be so beautiful, so emotional, and so filled with love. As I write this, I still can't believe that I have been blessed to be a mother to such a miracle.
Long story short, we never should have even been matched with Tami and Joe, Hope's birth parents. They happened to reach out to a different agency in Massachusetts to talk about an adoption plan. Tami told us that she had no idea that the agency was in Massachusetts but felt the most comfortable with them because of how kind they were to her. But because the agency was in Mass and Tami and Joe were in Indiana they needed to be represented by someone in Indiana. So they contacted Kirsh and Kirsh (our placement agency). During that time, we were then contacted by Wide Horizons, asking if they could show our profile to a potential family. Of course we said "yes" right away, but said we were under contract with our agency in Indiana and couldn't afford to lose any money. We got an e-mail back from Wide Horizons the next day stating that this family is actually working with our agency and that we should contact them immediately. The rest is history.
3 weeks ago Friday we received a call from our lawyer and he asked if were still interested in this family and we said yes! He was happy because Tami was ready to have the baby SOON! The next Monday we were on the phone with Tami and Joe, 2 of the most beautiful people we will ever have the chance of meeting. Adam and I were so nervous before calling. We prayed before hand and Adam said "Please God, don't let us sound like idiots." Ha :) It was awkward at first, but we clicked right away. The conversation was as easy as it could be considering the weight of what each of us were discussing. There were moments when I could sense in their voice their sadness, their grief. But overall, they were so confident that in the decision that they were making and knew that adoption was the right choice. We entered this phone call thinking that Tami and Joe were going to want to interview us, more or less, to see if we would be the right parents for their daughter. But as the conversation went on, Tami said to us that they had already chosen us and their baby would soon be our daughter. To hear those words "We've chosen you" after all this time was so surreal. It was really happening. God had finally brought us together and our baby was going to be here probably by Saturday.
Adam and I began to make plans to head out to Indiana for Saturday. We prepared our jobs that we would be taking time off and that Wednesday was going to be my last day of work for 3 months. Well, as we were leaving work on Wednesday, we got an e-mail from our attorney stating that Tami was being admitted into the hospital that night and was going to be induced. Slight panic set in as we knew that Tami and Joe wanted us to be there for the birth and started to feel a teeny bit anxious that we would be parents by the end of the night.
At 6:30PM, we were on our couch booking a flight out to Chicago. At 9PM we were on a flight out of Boston heading to Chicago and preparing for the 3 hour drive to Indiana. Adam calls this our own version of "The Amazing Race." It absolutely was! When we landed in Chicago, Tami called me and was dying to know where we we were. We told we still needed to drive 3 hours. We would probably arrive in Indiana around 2:30AM. She thought we might make it for Hope's arrival, but at that point she was already 4cm dilated. At 1:45AM, Joe called us and put us on speaker phone. In the background, we heard Hope crying as she was getting cleaned up. She made her entrance at 1:29AM. The thoughtfulness of Tami and Joe to call us at that moment still brings tears to my eyes. They wanted us included in every detail. In retrospect, we are so happy that we were not there right when Hope was born. Tami and Joe had over an hour to be with her, take pictures, and just spend time with her. I am so happy that they had that special time before we arrived.
At 2:30AM we arrived at the hospital. We were exhausted, still in the day before's work clothes, and trying to process about what was about to occur. We still couldn't believe we were about to meet Hope after 2 years of praying for her. No one could have prepared us for the emotions that set in. Not only are we about to meet Hope, but we were now face to face with her parents who are about to make the ultimate sacrifice. My heart was so full. When we walked into the hospital room, Tami was wide awake and said, "It's about time you got here!" Ha:) We loved her instantly. Adam and I just followed their lead. Hope was not technically our daughter yet, so we wanted to respect that. Joe led us right over to Hope and left us alone with her for just a few minutes. Adam and I couldn't stop crying or staring. She was just beautiful. We then walked over to Tami and sat with her. We had about an hour with both Tami and Joe to get to know them and chat. This is something I truly treasure. After about 1/2 hour, Joe came over with Hope and said "You have to hold her." There are no words to describe those first moments and I pray I never forget them. At the same time tho, I was trying to control my excitement because here I was sitting next to Tami who just gave birth to this beautiful baby who would not be going home with her. I will never be able to imagine that grief and what she must have been feeling during those moments.
On March 28, 2013 our lives forever changed when Hope Cassadie Evelyn appeared.
Our God is the God of miracles and is the God that makes the impossible possible. Adoption is the most beautiful gift I have ever experienced. I am amazed by how God works everything together for our good and weaves together every detail. As I look at Hope, I can't imagine any other baby more perfect for us. Adam and I are humbled by how God has blessed us, how He has allowed us to experience adoption, and how He has created our family. Nothing could be more beautiful than the way God works.
Long story short, we never should have even been matched with Tami and Joe, Hope's birth parents. They happened to reach out to a different agency in Massachusetts to talk about an adoption plan. Tami told us that she had no idea that the agency was in Massachusetts but felt the most comfortable with them because of how kind they were to her. But because the agency was in Mass and Tami and Joe were in Indiana they needed to be represented by someone in Indiana. So they contacted Kirsh and Kirsh (our placement agency). During that time, we were then contacted by Wide Horizons, asking if they could show our profile to a potential family. Of course we said "yes" right away, but said we were under contract with our agency in Indiana and couldn't afford to lose any money. We got an e-mail back from Wide Horizons the next day stating that this family is actually working with our agency and that we should contact them immediately. The rest is history. 3 weeks ago Friday we received a call from our lawyer and he asked if were still interested in this family and we said yes! He was happy because Tami was ready to have the baby SOON! The next Monday we were on the phone with Tami and Joe, 2 of the most beautiful people we will ever have the chance of meeting. Adam and I were so nervous before calling. We prayed before hand and Adam said "Please God, don't let us sound like idiots." Ha :) It was awkward at first, but we clicked right away. The conversation was as easy as it could be considering the weight of what each of us were discussing. There were moments when I could sense in their voice their sadness, their grief. But overall, they were so confident that in the decision that they were making and knew that adoption was the right choice. We entered this phone call thinking that Tami and Joe were going to want to interview us, more or less, to see if we would be the right parents for their daughter. But as the conversation went on, Tami said to us that they had already chosen us and their baby would soon be our daughter. To hear those words "We've chosen you" after all this time was so surreal. It was really happening. God had finally brought us together and our baby was going to be here probably by Saturday.
At 6:30PM, we were on our couch booking a flight out to Chicago. At 9PM we were on a flight out of Boston heading to Chicago and preparing for the 3 hour drive to Indiana. Adam calls this our own version of "The Amazing Race." It absolutely was! When we landed in Chicago, Tami called me and was dying to know where we we were. We told we still needed to drive 3 hours. We would probably arrive in Indiana around 2:30AM. She thought we might make it for Hope's arrival, but at that point she was already 4cm dilated. At 1:45AM, Joe called us and put us on speaker phone. In the background, we heard Hope crying as she was getting cleaned up. She made her entrance at 1:29AM. The thoughtfulness of Tami and Joe to call us at that moment still brings tears to my eyes. They wanted us included in every detail. In retrospect, we are so happy that we were not there right when Hope was born. Tami and Joe had over an hour to be with her, take pictures, and just spend time with her. I am so happy that they had that special time before we arrived.
The hospital had a room set up for us a few doors down from Tami. As we were getting ready to get settled, Joe wheeled Hope's bassinet over to us and told us that they wanted us to care for her from the beginning. What a gift!
On March 28, 2013 our lives forever changed when Hope Cassadie Evelyn appeared.
Our God is the God of miracles and is the God that makes the impossible possible. Adoption is the most beautiful gift I have ever experienced. I am amazed by how God works everything together for our good and weaves together every detail. As I look at Hope, I can't imagine any other baby more perfect for us. Adam and I are humbled by how God has blessed us, how He has allowed us to experience adoption, and how He has created our family. Nothing could be more beautiful than the way God works.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Floating
Genesis 8:1a,3a-"But God remembered Noah...so the floodwaters gradually receded from the earth."
I often wish that God would give just a little more detail into the thoughts that the people of the Bible had. Such as Abraham. Wouldn't you love to know what was going through his head as he made the trek to sacrifice Isaac? Or how about the disciples? The Gospels tell us that when Jesus called them to follow Him, they immediately left, leaving family and jobs behind.
Noah is also one of those guys that I wish we could have more detail on. For several months, he was cooped up in the ark while the world's largest storm was barreling around him. As I read the above verses this morning, I wondered what Noah was thinking. Did he have days where he felt alone and that God had forgotten Him? Was he doubtful of God's protection? Did he wonder if he heard God's voice correctly? I would have to think that at some point, yes, he did have those moments of uncertainty. After all, he was human. But God does leave that to our own speculation.
I wonder what Noah felt like for those 40 days, where the storm was at its' most intense period. I imagine it to be like a scene from "The Perfect Storm" except lasting for 40 full days. Have you gone through your own storm that seems like it will never end? With life kinda swirling around you and you are left..floating? I remember times of feeling this way. Feelings of anger, loneliness. I remember a specific morning of feeling like this and wondering if God even heard me. A few minutes after praying these thoughts out, my phone buzzed with a text. It was from an old co-worker who I hadn't spoken to in quite some time. She had been burdened to pray for me and wanted to check in to see what was going on. God's voice through a friend, answering me that He does in fact hear me. "But God remembered Noah..." And God remembered me. And He remembers you. And will continue to remember you.
But what I love about storms..they DO have an ending. Physical storms end as well as storms of life. After a storm, there is always some sort of stillness. People wait some time to emerge before whatever clean-up needs to happen. The stillness of waiting can last longer than we want it to or longer than we expect it to. The Bible states that the flood waters covered the earth for 5 months and took another approximately 3 months to start to go down. "So the floodwaters gradually receded from the earth..." How similar this is to life and the testings we go through. God often delivers us from our storm but into a waiting pool. A time of stillness and inactivity. A time where we are forced to sit. But as I have mentioned here, God is not a waster of time and uses periods of waiting to draw us even more closely to Him and to deepen our relationship with God.
And then, soon enough, the olive branch appears. After Noah had waited these months for the water to die down, he released a dove. The first time, the dove returned right away because the ground was still covered. More waiting. But after the second time, the dove appeared with an olive branch, symbolizing that the waters are coming down. Dry ground is appearing. Did you know that there are olive branches surrounding us? Symbols of God's faithfulness of deliverance? Signs of Him working even though it may seem slow? They come in the form of words from friends or family; a verse that speaks directly to your heart; a person being burdened to pray for you. And the list can go on. Be persistent. Keep looking. God is speaking. Noah had to send out the dove 3 times before he knew his wait was over.
Before you know it, God's rainbow of promise will be revealed, symbolizing His forever faithfulness. It may not come in the time frame we hoped or in the way we had anticipated. There may be pain involved and overwhelming trials. But it will come if we choose to persevere. Because of Jesus, there is always hope.
I often wish that God would give just a little more detail into the thoughts that the people of the Bible had. Such as Abraham. Wouldn't you love to know what was going through his head as he made the trek to sacrifice Isaac? Or how about the disciples? The Gospels tell us that when Jesus called them to follow Him, they immediately left, leaving family and jobs behind.
Noah is also one of those guys that I wish we could have more detail on. For several months, he was cooped up in the ark while the world's largest storm was barreling around him. As I read the above verses this morning, I wondered what Noah was thinking. Did he have days where he felt alone and that God had forgotten Him? Was he doubtful of God's protection? Did he wonder if he heard God's voice correctly? I would have to think that at some point, yes, he did have those moments of uncertainty. After all, he was human. But God does leave that to our own speculation. I wonder what Noah felt like for those 40 days, where the storm was at its' most intense period. I imagine it to be like a scene from "The Perfect Storm" except lasting for 40 full days. Have you gone through your own storm that seems like it will never end? With life kinda swirling around you and you are left..floating? I remember times of feeling this way. Feelings of anger, loneliness. I remember a specific morning of feeling like this and wondering if God even heard me. A few minutes after praying these thoughts out, my phone buzzed with a text. It was from an old co-worker who I hadn't spoken to in quite some time. She had been burdened to pray for me and wanted to check in to see what was going on. God's voice through a friend, answering me that He does in fact hear me. "But God remembered Noah..." And God remembered me. And He remembers you. And will continue to remember you.
But what I love about storms..they DO have an ending. Physical storms end as well as storms of life. After a storm, there is always some sort of stillness. People wait some time to emerge before whatever clean-up needs to happen. The stillness of waiting can last longer than we want it to or longer than we expect it to. The Bible states that the flood waters covered the earth for 5 months and took another approximately 3 months to start to go down. "So the floodwaters gradually receded from the earth..." How similar this is to life and the testings we go through. God often delivers us from our storm but into a waiting pool. A time of stillness and inactivity. A time where we are forced to sit. But as I have mentioned here, God is not a waster of time and uses periods of waiting to draw us even more closely to Him and to deepen our relationship with God.
And then, soon enough, the olive branch appears. After Noah had waited these months for the water to die down, he released a dove. The first time, the dove returned right away because the ground was still covered. More waiting. But after the second time, the dove appeared with an olive branch, symbolizing that the waters are coming down. Dry ground is appearing. Did you know that there are olive branches surrounding us? Symbols of God's faithfulness of deliverance? Signs of Him working even though it may seem slow? They come in the form of words from friends or family; a verse that speaks directly to your heart; a person being burdened to pray for you. And the list can go on. Be persistent. Keep looking. God is speaking. Noah had to send out the dove 3 times before he knew his wait was over.
Before you know it, God's rainbow of promise will be revealed, symbolizing His forever faithfulness. It may not come in the time frame we hoped or in the way we had anticipated. There may be pain involved and overwhelming trials. But it will come if we choose to persevere. Because of Jesus, there is always hope.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Adoption Adventures: 2 Years (and counting) of Grace
I can't believe that it has been just over 2 years that we have been in our adoption process. I remember vividly Adam and I out having dinner and with tears in our eyes decided it was time to start the paperwork to having our family. These 2 years have been the hardest, most beautiful, slowest, and fastest 2 years of our lives. 2 years that have been completely covered in grace.
An update:
We met with our social worker, Carol, who is in charge of our home study. She came out to our house to update any information that may have changed. It had been almost a year since we had seen her last, so we had a wonderful time catching up with her. We showed her the hope chest that my sister in law and brother gave us for Christmas 2 years ago and told her that we are getting ready to prepare for our nursery. She was very excited. We've had some opportunities to talk about faith and adoption with her and she said, "You are a couple who definitely lives by your principles."
We just spoke with our adoption agency in Indiana (who will be placing us with the baby) and Emily, who is in charge of matching us with moms, said that she just handed out our profile to a young lady yesterday. She was looking for a couple who was a Christian family. Emily isn't quite positive that this mom will choose an adoption plan as she has already spoken to 4 other families and is being very selective (which is a very good thing!), but you never know what will happen. Our profile may also be shown next week to another family as well! Our hopes are definitely not up about either of these families as we know the process can be extremely slow. But we are reassured that at least there are families reading about us:) Will you join us in praying for these 2 families?
Emily stated that she loves our profile and knows that someone will be drawn to it. She also told us that we are one of the very few couples who talked about our faith in our profile and many searching mothers are looking for a family of faith to raise their baby. Our conversation with her left us greatly encouraged and excited.
We know that as we get closer to being matched with a mother, everyone will be interested in her and her situation. Adam and I had a long conversation about this the other day and have decided to keep her story private. Our reason is that we feel our baby should be the first to know about her and want to protect him/her from finding something out before we were able to talk about it. Every mom's situation is different and we can't control certain choices that they make. We want everyone in our life to see her as we see her~ a woman who loves her baby so much that she is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. We don't want anything to jade that. Thank you in advance for respecting our privacy on this!
God's grace continues to cover us. We have learned :
* With God, there is no time wasted, even in waiting. He has used these 2 years to grow us as a couple, strengthen our faith, and grow in a deeper relationship with Him then we could have ever done otherwise. I am thankful for it. Really. Only because of Jesus can sadness turn into true joy and absolute contentment.
* God is our Protector. Yes, there have been some disappointments along the way. Our main one was when Moldova's adoption program closed. I know some of have said to us how "relieved" they were that we weren't adopting from an orphanage. But there was actually great sadness that came with our decision to pull out of it. Those were very hard weeks. We then talked about moving to the Russia program and had contemplated that for a bit. But, Russia's program is now closed. God's protection over us. We are so grateful.
* God is our Provider. We entered this 2 years ago with just enough money to get the process started. We knew for the rest, we literally had to come before God daily to ask for provision. We decided not to fund raise and just pray our way through it. Our faith has grown immensely because of this. God has placed so many people in our path that have covered us financially. We continue to be amazed.
I am praying over opportunities to do more writing and have been asked by a few different people if I would consider writing a book. I have recently been able to do some devotional writing for Proverbs 31 Ministries "Encouragement Cafe" and am leaning towards a devotional-style book geared for those in waiting. I think "Glued By Grace" will be the title, but who knows. Stay tuned. :) I am going to a writing conference sponsored by P31 Ministries this July and am so excited to get to meet some fabulous Christian women. I am so thankful for Adam. He is beyond supportive. He said "If God is calling you to it, you need to go, despite the cost." Love him. :)
We are blessed by each of you. Thanks so much for always checking in:)
An update:
We met with our social worker, Carol, who is in charge of our home study. She came out to our house to update any information that may have changed. It had been almost a year since we had seen her last, so we had a wonderful time catching up with her. We showed her the hope chest that my sister in law and brother gave us for Christmas 2 years ago and told her that we are getting ready to prepare for our nursery. She was very excited. We've had some opportunities to talk about faith and adoption with her and she said, "You are a couple who definitely lives by your principles."
We just spoke with our adoption agency in Indiana (who will be placing us with the baby) and Emily, who is in charge of matching us with moms, said that she just handed out our profile to a young lady yesterday. She was looking for a couple who was a Christian family. Emily isn't quite positive that this mom will choose an adoption plan as she has already spoken to 4 other families and is being very selective (which is a very good thing!), but you never know what will happen. Our profile may also be shown next week to another family as well! Our hopes are definitely not up about either of these families as we know the process can be extremely slow. But we are reassured that at least there are families reading about us:) Will you join us in praying for these 2 families?
Emily stated that she loves our profile and knows that someone will be drawn to it. She also told us that we are one of the very few couples who talked about our faith in our profile and many searching mothers are looking for a family of faith to raise their baby. Our conversation with her left us greatly encouraged and excited.
We know that as we get closer to being matched with a mother, everyone will be interested in her and her situation. Adam and I had a long conversation about this the other day and have decided to keep her story private. Our reason is that we feel our baby should be the first to know about her and want to protect him/her from finding something out before we were able to talk about it. Every mom's situation is different and we can't control certain choices that they make. We want everyone in our life to see her as we see her~ a woman who loves her baby so much that she is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice. We don't want anything to jade that. Thank you in advance for respecting our privacy on this!
God's grace continues to cover us. We have learned :
* With God, there is no time wasted, even in waiting. He has used these 2 years to grow us as a couple, strengthen our faith, and grow in a deeper relationship with Him then we could have ever done otherwise. I am thankful for it. Really. Only because of Jesus can sadness turn into true joy and absolute contentment.
* God is our Protector. Yes, there have been some disappointments along the way. Our main one was when Moldova's adoption program closed. I know some of have said to us how "relieved" they were that we weren't adopting from an orphanage. But there was actually great sadness that came with our decision to pull out of it. Those were very hard weeks. We then talked about moving to the Russia program and had contemplated that for a bit. But, Russia's program is now closed. God's protection over us. We are so grateful.
* God is our Provider. We entered this 2 years ago with just enough money to get the process started. We knew for the rest, we literally had to come before God daily to ask for provision. We decided not to fund raise and just pray our way through it. Our faith has grown immensely because of this. God has placed so many people in our path that have covered us financially. We continue to be amazed.
I am praying over opportunities to do more writing and have been asked by a few different people if I would consider writing a book. I have recently been able to do some devotional writing for Proverbs 31 Ministries "Encouragement Cafe" and am leaning towards a devotional-style book geared for those in waiting. I think "Glued By Grace" will be the title, but who knows. Stay tuned. :) I am going to a writing conference sponsored by P31 Ministries this July and am so excited to get to meet some fabulous Christian women. I am so thankful for Adam. He is beyond supportive. He said "If God is calling you to it, you need to go, despite the cost." Love him. :)
We are blessed by each of you. Thanks so much for always checking in:)
Monday, February 18, 2013
Verse of Hope/Quick update
It has been awhile since I have given an update, so thought I would send out a quick one. There isn't much new news to share, just that we continue to wait on the list to be matched with a mom and her baby. Our profile has been shown to at at least one woman, but she chose another family. We were happy to at least know that our profile has been passed out! We are still fairly new to this waiting list, so we know that we probably won't be successfully matched until the end of this year, or a little after. The light is slowly showing at the end of this 2 year tunnel. :) We had to resubmit some of our paperwork as it expired (which is normal) and will be meeting with our social worker in March to update our homestudy.
Many of you have asked how we are feeling. The best way I can describe it is like a woman who is 9 months pregnant and just wants the baby OUT...that is how we are feeling :) We are READY. Ready for this little miracle to be here. Unlike a pregnant woman, tho, we don't have a due date. That is the hard part for us. So we continue to wait and pray. Praying especially for this young lady who God has chosen for us to be blessed by. If I look at our timeframe, she is more than likely entering her own time of crisis right now. Our paths will soon be crossing.
This past weekend, I have been thinking back over these last several years and all of the emotions God has graciously brought us through. And "grace" is the only word I can use to describe it. God's grace is in abundance and his mercies truly are new every morning. I am humbled by God's deliverance~ deliverance from pain and sadness and how He has replaced it with excitement and joy. Joy for how He has created us. Joy for how He has decided to form our family. And joy for the days we have left as just the two of us.
For those of you who are still waiting in what seems like a desert, I wanted to share some of God's promises that gave, and continue to give, me unending hope:
Many of you have asked how we are feeling. The best way I can describe it is like a woman who is 9 months pregnant and just wants the baby OUT...that is how we are feeling :) We are READY. Ready for this little miracle to be here. Unlike a pregnant woman, tho, we don't have a due date. That is the hard part for us. So we continue to wait and pray. Praying especially for this young lady who God has chosen for us to be blessed by. If I look at our timeframe, she is more than likely entering her own time of crisis right now. Our paths will soon be crossing.
This past weekend, I have been thinking back over these last several years and all of the emotions God has graciously brought us through. And "grace" is the only word I can use to describe it. God's grace is in abundance and his mercies truly are new every morning. I am humbled by God's deliverance~ deliverance from pain and sadness and how He has replaced it with excitement and joy. Joy for how He has created us. Joy for how He has decided to form our family. And joy for the days we have left as just the two of us.
For those of you who are still waiting in what seems like a desert, I wanted to share some of God's promises that gave, and continue to give, me unending hope:
"Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow.
Where nettles grew, myrtles will sprout up.
These events will bring great honor to the Lord's name;
They will be an everlasting sign of His power and love."
Isaiah 55:13
"The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon,
as lovely as the Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.
There the Lord will display His glory, the splendor of our God.
With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands,
and encourage those who have weak knees.
Springs will gush forth in the wilderness
and streams will water the wasteland.
Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return.
They will enter Jerusalem singing,
crowned with everlasting joy.
Sorrow and mourning will disappear,
and they will be filled with joy and gladness."
excerpts from Isaiah 35
Saturday, December 15, 2012
For days like these...
I went to bed last night with a heavy heart and woke up this morning with the same feeling. My heart is completely broken and just aches for the families in Connecticut who are left behind to deal with the tragedy of the school shooting. My mind just can't wrap itself around the atrocity of it. While I am not a mother, I saw specific faces in my mind throughout Friday night: faces of my 3 nephews, faces of dear friends' children who I love dearly, faces of family members who are school teachers. And my heart just broke.
We live in a broken, fallen world. It's on days like this past Friday that I am reminded of the magnitude of the sin that envelopes our communities. Pure evil, really. But because there is evil, there HAS to be Good. The only Good in this world is our hope in Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus we have the opportunity to receive His grace fully and completely. Because of His mercy, we are permitted to become sons and daughters of God and have fullness of life for eternity. Because of Jesus, the war against sin and evil will soon be won. He always remains victorious.
This is my hope. This is my comfort. As I watched the news Friday night, I had to walk away. All I could pray was "Jesus, come quickly." I long for the day when Jesus returns. When evil loses and when Good reigns victorious. I am choosing to believe His promise: " In this world there will be trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
My prayer is that the God of all comfort and of all peace will wrap His arms around each person affected by this tragedy and that they will be drawn to the hope that rests only in Jesus.
We live in a broken, fallen world. It's on days like this past Friday that I am reminded of the magnitude of the sin that envelopes our communities. Pure evil, really. But because there is evil, there HAS to be Good. The only Good in this world is our hope in Jesus Christ. Because of Jesus we have the opportunity to receive His grace fully and completely. Because of His mercy, we are permitted to become sons and daughters of God and have fullness of life for eternity. Because of Jesus, the war against sin and evil will soon be won. He always remains victorious.
This is my hope. This is my comfort. As I watched the news Friday night, I had to walk away. All I could pray was "Jesus, come quickly." I long for the day when Jesus returns. When evil loses and when Good reigns victorious. I am choosing to believe His promise: " In this world there will be trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
My prayer is that the God of all comfort and of all peace will wrap His arms around each person affected by this tragedy and that they will be drawn to the hope that rests only in Jesus.
"You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
Psalm 56:8
"Come to Me, all of you who are weary
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you.
Let me teach you,
because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Giveaway Winner and Reflection Verses
Thank you to each of you who left comments on my blog, comments on the Encouragement Cafe links, and the encouraging e-mails I received. I am so thankful for EACH of you! The winner of the free copy of Ann Voskamp's "1,000 Gifts" is CJW! Please e-mail me at colleengyoung@gmail.com and send me your mailing address. Please put "book giveaway" in the subject line so I know it's you. :)
I don't know where you all live, but here in New England, it is a beautiful Saturday morning. I woke up early and drove to the beach to walk and have my quiet time. I just wanted to share a couple of verses to reflect on this weekend:
Psalm 143:8~ "Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You. Show me where to walk for I give myself to You."
Ephesians 3:18-19 "And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?"
I don't know where you all live, but here in New England, it is a beautiful Saturday morning. I woke up early and drove to the beach to walk and have my quiet time. I just wanted to share a couple of verses to reflect on this weekend:
Psalm 143:8~ "Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You. Show me where to walk for I give myself to You."
Ephesians 3:18-19 "And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."
Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can ever be against us?"Friday, October 26, 2012
Heart Makeover and a Giveaway!
Good morning! If you found my blog from the devotional I have running over at "Encouragement Cafe" , welcome! I am so glad you stopped by!
Learning the discipline of contentment is not easy. It is a daily lesson. However, it is something that God has desired for us so we can have fullness of life.
Not too long ago I was caught in the trap of comparing myself to others, wishing I had certain things that they had. God worked and worked, and I tried to ignore and ignore. Until He put the brakes on it. He literally gave me a heart makeover. Instead of wishing time away or wishing I had something I didn't, He taught me to see Him in each day~ whether it was a day filled with happiness and laughter or a day filled with struggle and tears. One of the simple prayers that I have started praying before I step out the door to begin my day is "God, I want to see You and hear from You today." Some days He is obvious; some days I have to search. In the end, His fingerprints are there.
Contentment isn't a lesson that was taught when everything in life was going smoothly. For me, it has been the opposite~ it has been during times of struggle and hardship. I have found that the valleys are God's classroom and we can choose to sit in the front and learn as much as we can, or sit in the back and pretend to ignore Him.
The first step is meditating on His words. Pick a verse. Read it. Study it. Let it become the forefront of your mind. God's promises are alive and active and have the ability to transform our hearts and mind. God's Word is also our protection from any kind of sin, such as jealousy.
Then start writing. I think you will be amazed at how God shows up in each day. My journal has especially helped me during our adoption and track the faithfulness of God in big and small ways.
I would love to hear from you! I am giving away one of my most favorite books, "1,000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. Her insights about contentment and living each day to the fullest have been life changing and I would love to share this with someone. So, please leave a comment below and check back here tomorrow or subscribe for e-mail notifications on the right hand side to see who won!
Praying that you see God's gifts surrounding you today!
Reflection:
Psalm 118:24~ "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 116:7~ " Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
Psalm 108:1,3-4~ " My heart is steadfast, O God, I will sing and make music with all my soul...I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
Check out Ann Voskamp's blog: www.aholyexperience.com for daily post on how to live a joy filled life!
Learning the discipline of contentment is not easy. It is a daily lesson. However, it is something that God has desired for us so we can have fullness of life.
Not too long ago I was caught in the trap of comparing myself to others, wishing I had certain things that they had. God worked and worked, and I tried to ignore and ignore. Until He put the brakes on it. He literally gave me a heart makeover. Instead of wishing time away or wishing I had something I didn't, He taught me to see Him in each day~ whether it was a day filled with happiness and laughter or a day filled with struggle and tears. One of the simple prayers that I have started praying before I step out the door to begin my day is "God, I want to see You and hear from You today." Some days He is obvious; some days I have to search. In the end, His fingerprints are there.
Contentment isn't a lesson that was taught when everything in life was going smoothly. For me, it has been the opposite~ it has been during times of struggle and hardship. I have found that the valleys are God's classroom and we can choose to sit in the front and learn as much as we can, or sit in the back and pretend to ignore Him.
The first step is meditating on His words. Pick a verse. Read it. Study it. Let it become the forefront of your mind. God's promises are alive and active and have the ability to transform our hearts and mind. God's Word is also our protection from any kind of sin, such as jealousy.
Then start writing. I think you will be amazed at how God shows up in each day. My journal has especially helped me during our adoption and track the faithfulness of God in big and small ways.
I would love to hear from you! I am giving away one of my most favorite books, "1,000 Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. Her insights about contentment and living each day to the fullest have been life changing and I would love to share this with someone. So, please leave a comment below and check back here tomorrow or subscribe for e-mail notifications on the right hand side to see who won!
Praying that you see God's gifts surrounding you today!
Reflection:
Psalm 118:24~ "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalm 116:7~ " Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."
Psalm 108:1,3-4~ " My heart is steadfast, O God, I will sing and make music with all my soul...I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
Check out Ann Voskamp's blog: www.aholyexperience.com for daily post on how to live a joy filled life!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Meditating on God's Love
If you are dropping by because you read my devotional "Difficult but Beautiful" running over at Encouragement Cafe, welcome! I am so happy you are here!
Adoption has stretched my faith in more ways than I could ever expect. I am forever grateful. When I stopped to reflect on God's adoption process for me and for you, I was blown away. There was sacrifice. There were tears. There was physical and emotional pain. Yet this was all directed by Love.
I was adopted by Jesus at 4 years old so for most of my life I have known that God loves me and have read about it and have talked about it. It is so easy to become complacent with such simple statements and not delve into the truth behind it. Adoption has deepened my understanding of the love that God has bestowed upon me and has caused me to meditate on what exactly His love means.
I want to share just a few verses with you that have spoken to me. I encourage you to take some time over the next few days and meditate on them, also. Take a walk before your day starts. Grab a journal and a cup of coffee or whatever you do to start your day that allows your heart to focus on the Lord. My prayer is that your relationship with Jesus will deepen because of what He did on the Cross.
Ephesians 2:4-5~ "But God is so rich in mercy and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's grace that you have been saved!)
Ephesians 1:7-8~ "So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us who belong to His dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He has showered His kindness on us, along with wisdom and understanding.
Matthew 11:28-30~ "Come to me , all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
His love for us is deep, wide, and overflowing. We are adopted into His family when we come before Him with a repentant heart and acknowledge that without Jesus, we have separation from Him because of our sin. This separation is dissolved when we place our full trust in the Cross of Jesus and claim the forgiveness that Jesus has offered. By the Cross we become children of God and are forever adopted into His family. Just as when our baby comes home, he/she will be forever ours. Nothing can change that. So it is with God. Nothing can separate us from the love that He has given us.He will forever be our Father.
I continue to be humbled that the God of the universe, the Creator, has adopted me as His daughter. He is my Father; I am part of His family! It is just simply amazing.
I am praying for each of you today, that the message of the Cross will seep into your hearts and that the love of Jesus will become more real to you today than it has ever been.
Adoption has stretched my faith in more ways than I could ever expect. I am forever grateful. When I stopped to reflect on God's adoption process for me and for you, I was blown away. There was sacrifice. There were tears. There was physical and emotional pain. Yet this was all directed by Love.
I was adopted by Jesus at 4 years old so for most of my life I have known that God loves me and have read about it and have talked about it. It is so easy to become complacent with such simple statements and not delve into the truth behind it. Adoption has deepened my understanding of the love that God has bestowed upon me and has caused me to meditate on what exactly His love means.
I want to share just a few verses with you that have spoken to me. I encourage you to take some time over the next few days and meditate on them, also. Take a walk before your day starts. Grab a journal and a cup of coffee or whatever you do to start your day that allows your heart to focus on the Lord. My prayer is that your relationship with Jesus will deepen because of what He did on the Cross.
Ephesians 2:4-5~ "But God is so rich in mercy and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's grace that you have been saved!)
Ephesians 1:7-8~ "So we praise God for the glorious grace He has poured out on us who belong to His dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins. He has showered His kindness on us, along with wisdom and understanding.
Matthew 11:28-30~ "Come to me , all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
His love for us is deep, wide, and overflowing. We are adopted into His family when we come before Him with a repentant heart and acknowledge that without Jesus, we have separation from Him because of our sin. This separation is dissolved when we place our full trust in the Cross of Jesus and claim the forgiveness that Jesus has offered. By the Cross we become children of God and are forever adopted into His family. Just as when our baby comes home, he/she will be forever ours. Nothing can change that. So it is with God. Nothing can separate us from the love that He has given us.He will forever be our Father.
I continue to be humbled that the God of the universe, the Creator, has adopted me as His daughter. He is my Father; I am part of His family! It is just simply amazing.
I am praying for each of you today, that the message of the Cross will seep into your hearts and that the love of Jesus will become more real to you today than it has ever been.
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